Immoderate Musings;
Quibblesome Quarrels;
Risible Rhapsodies on
Music and Morals


by
David Van Alstyne



PAGE 2
Verses 49 - 104


Verses:
60 / 70 / 80 / 90 / 100
GLOSSARY
PAGE 1 / PAGE 3 / PAGE 4 / PAGE 5 / PAGE 6



But Eureka!, the
49) refulgent recrudescence of orchidaceous elan;
the painstaking, irradicably robust recalibration of
long since abandoned, now swimmily unswaddled,
youthfully eudaemonistic self-congratulation,
once so
50) gratingly giddy; so roguishly raffish; so
rankly randy, so critically callous and callow; so
blastedly bland and blithely oblivious to
such common-sensical concerns as humiliation,
like a
51) fiery, feisty phoenix, having one time lily-liveredly
flounced and faltered in a fine Fabian frivolity of
flat-footed dullardliness in dalliance and defalcation,
now in a tardy little driblet or crumb of compensation,
at last
52) here rises up as in a blinding flash of lightning; in
commandeering crashes of thunderous fulguration; a
galvanizing blaze; a brashly bellicose craze; an
intractable transfiguration in proud protestation
against the
53) way we wanly wangle, wilt, whinge, whimper and whine, wallowing
all wimpishly woebegone
in a woozy welter of weltschmerz,
the whole while half-heartedly hastening to hedge our bets through
lethally lubricious, venal vizards of vacillation
in a
54) sagging, soul-shrinking torpor of dulcet dupery; being
lost in the sequela of confusion and dislocation where we
complaisantly fall into and freely follow a fallow rut; a
rigorously rocky road of regressive resignation
to the
55) reactionary rubbish of eremitic abdication: a
bad bill of hokum; a hallucinatory confection; an
over-the-top nostrum for bogus restoration through
erethically misoneistic stasis and hibernation;
to the
56) pursuit of retrograde rest through nidification in a
flocculent cocoon of neuroleptic capitulation to a
punctilious plot of claustrophobic reclusion in
stiff-necked, pallidly parochial insulation
against the
57) hegemonic peanut gallery of cackling hacks and gasbags,
persnickety, cretinous criticasters all crabbily crowing their
grumpy little gravamens of contumelious animadversion in
wicked wisecracks of unwarranted exultation;
against their
58) over-bloated whoops and gloats of cryptogenic invective
making spiteful spittle for the transgressive irrigation of
churlishly canorous canards, mordacious epithets and a
tizzy of tawdry taunts in inculpatory excoriation
for our
59) colloguing in any kind of socratic affiliation with
those who would ever think to nurture the conceptualization of
mutual outreach and more neighborly cooperation in the
unrushable course of our temporal maturation,
and for
60) candidly querying the quotidian quiddity of the
quantum evolution of reclamation and regeneration, by the
quickening quintessence of our shared commiseration and
communal comity in concordant self-desquamation
so
61) typically, efficaciously partitive and appendant to the
attainment of convincing coherence in the conventionalization of that
comely colloquiality
which uncorks the convalescence of
more cogent ways of consultation and deliberation
which
62) draw from the source of truly trenchant excogitation: to be
specific, the higher wisdom of most lowly supplication for the
softening succor of supernatural distillation in
aiding in the consortium for suprarational consideration
unto
63) advancing a common bedrock experiential estimation of the
volatile vicissitudes and variously vagrant velleities in our
verily restive peace and repose; indeed, a wildly optimistic
travesty of self-divesting self-neutralization;
in our
64) insidiously debasing and vitiating zeitgeist of
insistently obsessive and gustatorily pliant esurience which
builds up such a quasi-sacred science of gimcrackery in the
support of omnivorously voracious commercialization;
that
65) entanglingly tentacular umbrage of tinge; that
tenebrous, ominously omnibus adumbration of a
catalytically cleaving reclassification; just a
colossal mass of wholesale disintegration
which is
66) liable to smoke out and drive the most impressionable and
particularly simple-minded parts of the population into a
crumpled slump; an autonomic collapse; a
sapless lassitude of dismay and devitalization,
while
67) speedily dispatching, with all embarrassing promptitude and
unseemly celerity
, into a downward modulation,
many anxiety-ridden multitudes of hitherto much loftier
rank, image, tier, esteem, caste, standing and station
,
even
68) erstwhile prestigiously powerful high pooh-bahs of
otherwise tranquilly taciturn, laconically saturnine,
serenely irenic, well-settled and sanguinely sapient (if
perhaps a bit stoutly straitlaced) equilibration

into
69) serpentine sequences of sinfully silly sallies
suffused with secretively sinister signification; into the
staging of solecistic spectacles and sundry sorry
sights and scenes of senselessly supercilious elation

by
70) sulking and skulking, by sneaking and slowly slinking with
serpentiform skills of furtively ophidian stealth; by
sashaying into sudorifically strenuous raids and forays,
incursions and sorties of sanguineous recreation;
and into
71) off-the-cuff, puzzling impieties of impetuosity and
utterly earthy acts of imbecilic irrationality, and as
pugnacious punks who are impertinently unimpressed by
procedurally edentulous legal reprobation
,
into
72) rakish enterprises full of polychotomous botcheries
side shows of temerariously atavistic abstrusities; a
wide repertoire of other abhorrently ungainly gaucheries of
unrepeatable, inenarrably inelegant confrontation;
all the while
73) caddishly caballing in clubby cliques clearly conducive to
cozily chummy, cravenly scummy capers of clownery
, to
cowardly cavorts of intramural crunching and punching in
pugilistic donnybrooks of non-comical aggravation
which
74) comprise unpardonably puerile poltrooneries of
people-pounding and pummeling
and the added characterization of
peripatetic prowls for pinching, purloining and pilfering in the
unjustifiably light-fingered lifting and expropriation

of
75) portable private property (say, Egad! and Forsooth! such
pluck in transpicuously Tartarean usurpation) in
not exactly the least ludicrously lurid of lunes in this
meteoric crisis; even the loony escalation
of such
76) moronic moxie in this, the most errantly purposive,
unimaginable, mini-mindedly impractical
perpetuation of
myriad miscellaneous misdemeanors and trespasses of
curmudgeonly barefaced non-cooperation
,
and those
77) grimly grabbing, throat-clutching dramatics of cloying pathos; those
high-octane plays plying potent precatory manipulation; that
puny Punic posing; those stage-front theatrics of
such canny connivance in such careful calculation
as to
78) finally grapple with the whole seedy spectrum of
no-no's in the conduct of multifarious misfeasance (of
comportment, decorum, constraint, probity and politesse, it
certainly seems at least a somewhat serious abnegation
which
79) simply serves to prove the point of how incredibly insular,
impossibly preliminary, dissuasively delusional,
preposterously presumptuous and deplorably Promethean are their
revoltingly ruffian rites of self-idolization
in the
80) ingenuous, naively nutty, nonchalantly narcissistic,
bafflingly idiopathic, yea, and even insupportably
pretentious
and pathetically precritical prolepsis of their
own self-worship on a vector of deification
)
as they
81) merrily rove and rave, ravage, pillage, puke and plunder like
old marauding bands of highly pixilated blunderbusses;
die-hard delinquents doing dreadfully drastic deeds of
deleterious demerit and demential indignation
as if
82) flung in a froth, frenzied, fumbling and fitfully fuming, into
fugacious fandangos, frenetic fugues and frissons of
fastuous fanfaronade
: fantods and fiascos of
fully unfurled manic disorientation
;
like
83) gaggles of goofuses, goofy goose-stepping galoots,
gee-whiz guerillas and pinheaded palookas all
eclamptically accreting suppletory certification of a
well-earned rap and really regrettable reputation

for
84) buccaneerishly galumphing into glaringly grievous garboils of
wild chthonian uproar and terpsichorean bedlam, and for
gallivanting in great gyres of callithumpian chaos in a
three-ring circus of near-simian agitation;
like
85) pie-eyed picaroons; bozos bouncing about,
bibulously bound in graceless confederation
; like a
bunch of bedraggled deadbeats, perennially polluted and
thoroughly smashed from lots of lusty libation

as if
86) well-oiled and potted; plastered three sheets to the wind in an
uproariously dipsomaniacal phantasmagoria; like
flunkies falling down in a fescennine fantasyland, an
engulphing insanity of epicurean degeneration;
like
87) ungrateful vagabonds; ne'er-do-wells wasting their weal in a
jadedly subfusc, limpid limbo of leisure; like a
touring carnival of shiftless jackanapes dawdling in a
desultory drift of Cyrenaic misappropriation
;
like a
88) monolithic school of expressionless ichthyoids
insensibly free-floating downstream through Erebus in a
cussed complicity of reproachable convention; a
catastrophic shtick of cataleptic conformation
until at
89) last straitly stopped and stuck, stalled, stymied and stifled,
stinted, strapped and stranded, sorely stricken, stunned and startled,
stirred up and starkly stung, soundly slammed, well slapped and
painfully pinched, pricked and pierced
by the sudden scintillation
of
90) successive sockdolagers of Solomonic sobriety
followed, anon, by a balmily prompting undulation of
warming waftures of reluctant intuition
and
zephyrs of inscrutably sagacious mentation
(which
91) subsequently start to spark small shudders, then
spasmodic shocks and ataxic seizures of
staying chagrin and forcefully bestilling savvy:
momentous muscular memos of sanative incitation
to
92) swell in one excruciating singularization of
peremptory sorrow and slackening self-censure;
beyond and below bemusement, bent into a destitution of
self-abasing abashment and abject prostration
)
they
93) reinventively rise up, recant and reconnoiter,
reorder, retrench and regroup in recuperation
to
resolutely resound, without so much as a soupçon, or the
slightest rudimentary remnant, of any real reservation

by
94) screeching, squeaking, squealing, squalling and squawking in
calamitous counterpoint; high-decibel dilatation;
slam-bang stentorian anathema; a moiling exhibition of
ungodly commotion in aleatoric ululation
;
a
95) tornadic furor in a redoubtable detonation of
ear-shredding shrieks in stridulous harmonization
; a
swirling saturnalia of shrill, sharply strident shouts and
unsavory salvos not fit for publication
;
a
96) ceaseless cascading of bloodcurdling caterwauls; a
searing torrent of clattering grunts, croaks and cries; an
abrasive brandishing of discordant concatenations of
rabid rants and acidly acrimonious exclamation

at the
97) wrong-headedly rowdy, ribald, raucous and raunchy; the
battering, even butcherly, unboundedly bad, brusque and bawdy; the
just plain studiously lewd, crudely miscued, and laconically rude,
sadly consuetudinary excuse for polite communication
which,
98) worse than the usual bandying of empty-headed codswallop or
apothegms of bewilderingly ambiguous badinage, is a
brazen blazonry in the peddling of brainless balderdash; such
belching banter, a misbegotten encapsulation
of the
99) maddeningly deceptive tenure and shady acceptation of a
common but inexcusably unscrupulous customization; a
chic but scabrously offensive and fatefully foul affair; an
artifice of ruthlessly unprincipled adulteration:
(alas) the
100) notably utilitarian and (aha!) suspiciously Faustian
aesthetic of misread personal rights and resulting victimization, of
adrenergic angst, anger and self-relinquishing eager submission to
Pavlovian pawnship and distractive dehumanization;
that
101) phenomenon of infamous finesse in malefic flimflam,
irreformably fly flab and flatly flagrant flatulence; that
deceitfully forgetive, strongly astringent asperity of
steely Spartan zeal
in theoretical sanitization
which
102) ironically seems to belie all the brackish banality of its
own particular forms of poverty-stricken petrification
, being
calmly copacetic in the scurrilously scrofulous and
sordid sterility
in the seamy evocation
of
103) poison so sheeny and putatively appealing yet so
puissantly paralyzing to what precious little remains of
conscience in the venerable old bastions of conservation
, of
traditional good taste and puristic delineation;
so
104) nocent to the plexus, so bedimming to the very nexus of our
quondam concentered and once-shared righteous notions that our
watchfulness weakly wanes now from wide-eyed waking to
nearly comatose in indiscriminate toleration.




GLOSSARY

(back to verse 49)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Eureka! - a term used to express triumph upon a great discovery (it's more dignified and suitable for historical accounts than the more probable things that were said such as, "Holy Cow!" or "Hubba Hubba!")
refulgent recrudescence of orchidaceous elan - the radiant return of highly conspicuous energy
painstaking, irradicably robust recalibration - the obsessively careful resetting of vigorous standards
swimmily unswaddled - a feeling of freedom so intense that it makes you light-headed
youthfully eudaemonistic self-congratulation - patting yourself on the back in your belief that, since the highest right-minded goal in life is your own happiness and well-being, you might as well encourage yourself
(back to verse 50)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

gratingly giddy - so happy and silly that you're annoying
roguishly raffish - showing contempt for what is normal, by being crude and vulgar (although these days, that's the definition of normal, so now you have to show your contempt for what is normal by being dignified and virtuous)
rankly randy - describes an adolescent male who, being in very inappropriate proximity to certain members of the opposite gender, should be slapped for what he is thinking
critically callous and callow - when it comes to judging other people, you are utterly immature and without the normal feelings that would guide you in wisdom
blastedly bland - where your refusal to get angry and excited makes other people angry and excited
blithely oblivious - lightheartedly unaware of what is going on
(back to verse 51)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

fiery, feisty phoenix - a big legendary bird which once burned itself to ashes and rose from those ashes to live again; or someone compared to a phoenix, who also happens to be very frisky and spunky
lily-liveredly - the way yellow-bellied folks do things
flounced and faltered in a fine Fabian frivolity - where you've made a huge mess of things in your fight against the enemy, because you were goofing around, which may have looked like, but didn't turn out as well as, the time the Roman general Quintus Fabius Maximus defeated Hannibal in the Second Punic War by not really fighting him head-on
flat-footed dullardliness in dalliance and defalcation - where you certainly don't fool around when it comes to fooling around, meaning you really do fool around, as if you want to look fully stupid when you fail to meet expectations
tardy little driblet or crumb of compensation - only a tiny part, and coming late besides, of what it would take to truly repay you for all the wonderful things you've done
(back to verse 52)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

commandeering crashes of thunderous fulguration - like very loud flashes of lightning that rattle your brains; or how some kids feel when their piano teacher rings the doorbell
galvanizing blaze - any outburst or display that stimulates or excites you like a shock of electricity,
brashly bellicose craze - your aggressive enthusiasm for starting fights, which doesn't last long once you throw the first punch and see what the response is
intractable transfiguration in proud protestation - where you make some kind of permanent change in your appearance as a form of protest (like having "ESCHEW OBFUSCATION!" tatooed on your forehead)
(back to verse 53)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

wanly wangle, wilt, whinge, whimper and whine - acting like an exhausted two-year-old who doesn't want to take a much needed (mostly by the parents) nap
wallowing wimpishly woebegone - taking great pleasure in the safety of being a useless coward
woozy welter of weltschmerz - a confused jumble of depressed feelings
lethally lubricious - enough enjoyment of lustful sensuality to have a terminal effect on your health
venal vizards of vacillation - the protective mask of money and worldly pleasures behind which you perfer to hide than to take a stand on moral principles
(back to verse 54)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

torpor of dulcet dupery - being hypnotized by the bliss of ignorance
sequela of confusion and dislocation - the after-effects of mental disturbance (this explains why some people drive home after a hard day at work like drunken fighter pilots, and why others, having survived another harrowing trip home dodging these guys, just want to crawl under the kitchen sink and spend a few hours in the fetal position, and why others simply go back to work the next day with a machine gun)
fallow rut - a monotonous routine that gets you nowhere
rigorously rocky road of regressive resignation - where giving up puts you on a very rough road of reverse evolution
(back to verse 55)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

reactionary rubbish of eremitic retirement - the dumb yet common idea of becoming a hermit just because someone made you angry
bad bill of hokum - a big pile of harmfully stupid nonsense; also most political speeches
hallucinatory confection - even though an idea is completely delusional, you have to admit it's a fine piece of imaginary craftsmanship
over-the-top nostrum for bogus restoration - a theory which exceeds the limits of sanity, on how to rebuild something which will continue falling apart the minute you try to use it
erethically misoneistic stasis and hibernation - where, being one of those people who can't stand any kind of change, even to the extent of hating it whenever anything near them moves at all, (like air, for example), you take on the persona of a semi-comatose zombie
(back to verse 56)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

retrograde rest through nidification - where after building a place of rest and retreat, you find that enjoying it only makes you more tired (not unlike taking a vacation, then needing another one to recover from the first one)
flocculent cocoon of neuroleptic capitulation - the soft, woolly, protective shell you are hiding in, which you created in your own mind by the powerfully tranquilizing effects of giving up
punctilious plot of claustrophobic reclusion - a carefully laid plan for withdrawing so far from everyone that eventually you feel sealed up in a packing crate
stiff-necked, pallidly parochial insulation - where, in the traditional spirit of intellectually weak-kneed narrow-mindedness, you stubbornly keep your brain from being polluting by any thoughts that originate outside of it
(back to verse 57)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

hegemonic peanut gallery - critics and commentators with big noses who manage to make everyone think about you the same way they do
cackling hacks and gasbags - critics and commentators who are nothing more than blowhard blabbermouths with no ideas of their own besides those fed to them by their equally feeble-minded employers, and who are liable to explode if they get near an open flame
persnickety, cretinous criticasters - see definition above, then add stupid, vulgar, insensitive, snobbish and overly fussy about small details (even though it's still a good bet their mothers love them)
crabbily crowing - gloating upon benefiting from someone else's troubles
grumpy little gravamens - small-minded complaints (the way thieves, lawyers, murderers, judges, drunk drivers, and members of congress would see any legal and moral charges that might be brought against them in a perfect world)
contumelious animadversion - criticism of your work that offers the extra bonus of being personally insulting
wicked wisecracks of unwarranted exultation - rotten little things you say when your head gets too big for your hat
(back to verse 58)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
over-bloated whoops and gloats of cryptogenic invective - inexplicable expressions of triumphant satisfaction made by pompous windbags over someone else's misfortune
spiteful spittle for the transgressive irrigation - words maliciously spit out of your mouth as if to water the ground for your evil intentions
churlishly canorous canards - the sweet sounding lies of a two-faced good-for-nothing
mordacious epithets - the kind of insults that really bite
tizzy of taunts in inculpatory excoriation - a storm of sarcasm in which you put the blame for everything on someone else who now feels so small that they could walk under a closed door wearing a top hat
(back to verse 59)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

colloguing in any kind of socratic affiliation - getting together to plan your filthy deeds under the pretense of scholarlty discussion (as in a congressional committee meeting)
nurture the conceptualization - promote the formulation of an idea (something often attempted by babies and politicians)
temporal maturation - growing up through the natural processes of time
(back to verse 60)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

candidly query the quotidian quiddity - when you sincerely want to know the real essence of something (not the wildly esoteric, unfathomable, convolutedly philosophical essence, but just the ordinary, everyday, low-fat vanilla essence, thank you)
quantum evolution of reclamation and regeneration - huge development in those aspects of rebuilding which can be discussed in polite company, or without resulting in a fist fight
quickening quintessence of our shared commiseration - inspiration that grows out of the sympathy we express to each other
communal comity in concordant self-desquamation - the warm fuzzies we get when we finally decide to peel off our artificial identity masks, our transitory personas, and show who we really are
(back to verse 61)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

efficaciously partitive and appendant - when something belongs with something else, to the benefit of all
attainment of convincing coherence - when you finally seem to get your story straight
conventionalization of that comely colloquiality - making polite, friendly conversation a normal occurrence (thus rendering some people mute)
uncorks the convalescence - allows the gradual recovery to begin (Doctor to patient: "This medicine ought to uncork your convalescence")
cogent ways of consultation and deliberation - sensible methods, considering you're in a group, for figuring things out (not used by the committee assigned to create the horse and came up with the camel)
(back to verse 62)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

truly trenchant excogitation - thoughts that are so sharp and penetrating, they could dig a ditch, as many very smart soldiers wished they could make happen during World War I
higher wisdom of most lowly supplication - the lofty judgment of lowering yourself to ask for help (like when men sacrifice their manhood by stooping to ask for directions when they are lost)
softening succor of supernatural distillation - the relief you feel when a much needed idea seems to waft into your mind out of nowhere
aiding in the consortium for suprarational consideration - magnifying the united nature of agreement on those opinions which seem based on intuition and faith
(back to verse 63)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

experiential estimation - your judgement of something based on all the experience you've acquired from doing it wrong volatile vicissitudes - the wildly unpredictable ups and downs of life which tend to lend an air of verisimilitude to otherwise bald and unconvincing narratives
variously vagrant velleities - shallow desires that can be changed by anything from a light breeze to a gun to the head
verily restive repose - the nap you're trying to take when you're just a fidgety bag of nerves
travesty of self-divesting self-neutralization - the utter pretense of giving up certain things in order to render yourself powerless (like rogue nations supposedly complying with disarmament treaties)
(back to verse 64)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

insidiously debasing and vitiating zeitgeist - the moral and cultural climate of our times, which entices, traps and pulls us down to a common level of depravity
insistently obsessive and gustatorily pliant esurience - the overpowering greed for things you will lose your taste for as soon as you own them
quasi-sacred science of gimcrackery - where you attach the highest possible value, almost to the point of holiness, to performing with style over substance (as in office politics, where it's more important to keep your job than to actually do your job)
omnivorously voracious commercialization - where you lower the quality of goods and services just to increase your own profits
(back to verse 65)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

entanglingly tentacular umbrage of tinge - a troubling threat of change that seems to wrap itself around your mind like an octopus
tenebrous, ominously omnibus adumbration - a dark and gloomy foreshadowing of many things at once
catalytically cleaving reclassification - where you regrouping things causes everything to fall apart; where you re-evaluate and redefine things so that they make even less sense; official motto of the IRS
colossal mass of wholesale disintegration - where everything falls apart on an incredibly stupendous level (like the world blowing up)
(back to verse 66)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

autonomic collapse - where your nervous system doesn't have the courtesy to ask your brain if it's okay to break down, it just does, and completely disintegrates into a jumbled mass of wreckage, leaving you feeling like a flattened blob of quivering gop
sapless lassitude of dismay and devitalization - where, having lost all your spunk, you go into a funk (a spunkless funk)
(back to verse 67)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

dispatching, with all embarrassing promptitude and unseemly celerity - wanting to wear a paper bag over your head because you set something into motion more quickly than you should have
downward modulation - playing the accompaniment of a song in a lower key to suit the singer's voice, or (completely unrelated) changing for the worse (unless you should have stayed in the same key)
multitudes of hitherto loftier tier, rank, image, esteem, caste, standing and station - many kinds of people who once looked less ridiculous than they do now (results of downward modulation)
(back to verse 68)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

erstwhile prestigiously powerful high pooh-bahs - formerly self-imagined big shots and others who used to be arrogant, high-flying muckity-mucks
otherwise tranquilly taciturn - between screaming rampages, very calm and quiet
saturnine - a clinical classification for cold-hearted pickle-suckers
serenely irenic - people who sit around with goofy smiles on their faces; often describes honeymoon couples at breakfast
sanguinely sapient (if perhaps a bit stoutly straitlaced) equilibration - other than being obnoxiously opinionated, tyrannically self-righteous and overbearing, you are mentally well-balanced and full of wisdom
(back to verse 69)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

serpentine sequences of sinfully silly sallies - the little trips you take off the beaten path to have more fun than should be allowed (not that it is)
suffused with secretively sinister signification - filled with hidden meanings that shouldn't be there (like when you sign for a bank loan and don't realize you have just offered your right leg as collateral)
staging of solecistic spectacles - performing huge public exhibitions of bad manners (like if a newly elected President of the United States were to begin his inaugural address with a loud belch and not say "excuse me"); does not mean wearing a new pair of glasses for which you could be hired as a curcus clown
sundry sorry sights and scenes of senselessly supercilious elation - various times when, for no good reason except that you are certifiably wild and crazy, you hysterically celebrate nothing at all
(back to verse 70)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

sulking and skulking, by sneaking and slowly slinking - expressing your grumpiness by sneaking around using wierd movements designed to arouse improper feelings in others (like perhaps the police)
serpentiform skills of furtively ophidian stealth - depending on your profession, the possibly useful ability to move around unseen like a snake
sashaying into sudorifically strenuous raids and forays - ostentatiously strutting around and then invading and attacking so vigorously that you work up a good sweat
incursions and sorties of sanguineous recreation - brief little episodes of ransacking, pillaging and plundering, all in the spirit of good, clean, blood-thirsty fun
(back to verse 71)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

puzzling impieties of impetuosity - your inexplicable habit of jumping head first into things you wouldn't want your mother to know about
utterly earthy acts of imbecilic irrationality - behaviors of depravity possibly excused by such feeblemindness that you need supervision even in the performance of routine daily tasks such as wiping the drool off your chin
pugnacious punks who are impertinently unimpressed by procedurally edentulous legal reprobation - self-importantly delusional little hoodlums (or hoodla if they are female) who love to fight and would just as soon put a bullet between your eyes as look at you because they have no fear of the law since it has no teeth and can't come to bite them (Is there any way to get more dentists elected into legislatures so they can give the laws more teeth??)
(back to verse 72)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

rakish enterprises full of polychotomous botcheries - immoral activities, being fouled up in any number of different ways (it's just as well)
side shows of temerariously atavistic abstrusities - where you choose out-moded and unnecessarily dangerous ways of doing things
repertoire of other abhorrently ungainly gaucheries - the list of other things you do which are also tactless and clumsy enough to make people want to hide when they see you coming
unrepeatable, inexorably inelegant confrontation - a nose to nose shouting match with eyeballs and veins popping out, so lacking in grace and good manners that you wish it wasn't a nationally televised religious discussion
(back to verse 73)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

caddishly caballing in clubby cliques - terrorists meeting together to have some fun while planning their next attempt at destroying Western civilization
clearly conducive to chummy, cravenly scummy capers of clownery - provides an easy way for degenerate goof-balls to get together and see how far they can go in pulling down our traditional moral values and our fundamental system of laws (in other words, what our national elections are gradually accomplishing)
cowardly cavorts of intramural crunching and punching - when you go around beating up on poor defenseless people just like yourself
pugilistic donnybrooks of non-comical aggravation - brawls, free-for-alls and fist-fights that don't seem very funny at the time
(back to verse 74)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

comprise unpardonably puerile poltrooneries of people-pounding and pummeling - made up of unforgivably childish and silly, even cowardly, acts of assault and battery
added characterization - another thing that makes it different
peripatetic prowls for pinching, purloining and pilfering in the unjustifiably light-fingered lifting and expropriation - sneaking around, or casing, people's homes so you can find the best time to break in and relieve them of all their treasured possessions
(back to verse 75)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
portable personal property - possessions you can carry away without a crane
say, Egad! and Forsooth! - Shakespearean for "Whoa! and Wow!"
pluck - spunk
transpicuously Tartarean usurpation - the kind of theft for which you belong in Tartarus, a place where people like you get what's coming to them
not exactly the least ludicrously lurid of lunes - not just the calm and quiet fits of madness that other people throw, but the kind you throw instead
meteoric crisis - a big problem suddenly shooting into your awareness (like your alarm clock going off in the morning, or a piece of astroid smashing into your swimming pool)
loony escalation - when things really start to get crazy
(back to verse 76)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

mini-mindedly moronic moxie - when your determination proves that your little brain is several eggs short of a dozen
errantly purposive, unimaginable, mini-mindedly impractical perpetuation of myriad miscellaneous misdemeanors and trespasses - where nobody ever dreamed you would, or could, be so wrong-headed and self-defeating as to keep committing your huge number of various little crimes
curmudgeonly barefaced non-cooperation - cantankerously unapologetic about not being helpful
(back to verse 77)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

grimly grabbing, throat-clutching dramatics of cloying pathos - the embarrassing but highly effective scenes of manipulation through your your uncontrolled emotions
high-octane plays plying potent precatory manipulation - when logic and reason fail, the next level of persuasive options (like holding your breath, or setting yourself on fire) for getting what you want
puny Punic posing - where, being an odiferous good-for-nothing wimp, you pretend to be a fragrant good-for-something tower of strength
stage-front theatrics - where things that ought to remain private are played out in the public eye; or where during a play, one of the actors gets carried away and performs his dramatic speech right at the very front edge of the stage causing the other actors to hope he falls into the orchestra pit
canny connivance in such careful calculation - where, for some selfish purpose, you've figured out a clever way to trick people into doing things that they would never do in their right minds
(back to verse 78)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

finally grapple with the whole seedy spectrum - where once and for all, you stop running away screaming, and start dealing with all the aspects of what is clearly a distasteful mess
no-no's in the conduct of multifarious misfeasance - in the fun spirit of moral retardation, these are all kinds of things you can do that won't quite get you thrown into jail
comportment, decorum, constraint, probity and politesse - stuff that comes under the heading of "behaving yourself"
abnegation - self-denial (as when, with noble humility, you choose not to make others feel inferior from having to see all the praise and adoration that would be heaped upon you if you behaved yourself, so therefore you choose the high road, which now is to not behave yourself)
(back to verse 79)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

incredibly insular - so uninterested in anything beyond your own experience that you remain beyond anyone else's experience
impossibly preliminary - like opening the show before you've even had the first rehearsal, and hoping for the best
dissuasively delusional - just too goofy to be taken seriously
preposterously presumptuous - having more willingness than a sane person to make a fool of yourself
deplorably Promethean - originality so titanic that no one can stand being near you
revoltingly ruffian rites of self-idolization - tough guys, in order to remind themselves how wonderful they are, ceremoniously sucker-punching people and then beating them up
(back to verse 80)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

ingenuous - the opposite of disingenuous; showing innocent or childlike simplicity
naively nutty - certifiably cuckoo, but you believe you're no different from everybody else, which would mean the whole world is certifiably cuckoo (which, in fact, doesn't even begin to describe it)
nonchalantly narcissistic - quite comfortable being the center of the universe
bafflingly idiopathic - coming from who knows where
insupportably pretentious - where you have no reason to think you're important, but you do anyway
pathetically precritical - it may be a long time before you'll ever develop the capacity to make rational judgments, but that doesn't stop you from trying
prolepsis of their own self-worship on a vector of deification - where some people think it's time to start bowing down before themselves in the mirror because they are almost gods already, and somebody has to do it
(back to verse 81)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

merrily rove and rave, ravage, pillage, puke and plunder - what babies do in the house as soon as they learn to walk, including throwing up a lot
old marauding bands of highly pixilated blunderbusses - gangs of mentally unbalanced fools who are up to no good (like legislative fact-finding committees)
dreadfully drastic deeds - things you have to do when the final straw has broken the camel's back, when the final boobie has hatched, when too many cooks have spoiled a bird in the bush, and when the last drop of spilled milk has gone under the bridge because it was crossed before you came to it already
deleterious demerit - a fault or shortcoming that will prove to be very harmful later (as when a young teenager makes the career decision to become an ax murderer, or a musician)
demential indignation - mindless anger
(back to verse 82)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

flung in a froth, frenzied, fumbling and fitfully fuming - suddenly thrown into something, all upset and confused (how you'd probably feel if a flight attendant threw you out of an airplane simply because you wouldn't stop asking for more peanuts)
fugacious fandangos - stupid games that don't last very long
frenetic fugues - doing things in a frantic state of mind, and when you finally get better you can't remember what you did (like buying a house, or selling your children)
frissons of fastuous fanfaronade - emotional fits of arrogant bluster
fantods and fiascos of fully unfurled manic disorientation - emotional outbursts and other embarrassments where you let yourself go in wild abandon (like when you start screaming in the destist's office, and you're still in the waiting room)
(back to verse 83)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

gaggles of goofy goose-stepping galoots - describes a military parade and the exact opposite of what the fearsomely high-stepping soldiers hope they look like
gee-whiz guerillas - terrorists who think they are pretty hot stuff (which they actually become once they blow themselves up)
pinheaded palookas - persons of significant size who are distinguished by a remarkable paucity of physical grace and intellectual prowess
eclamptically accreting suppletory certification of a well-earned rap and really regrettable reputation - continuing to give your enemies more bad things to say about you so they don't have to tell lies
(back to verse 84)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

buccaneerishly galumphing - trying to behave like a pirate but only managing to act like your shoes are too big for your feet
glaringly grievous garboils - obviously horrible situations of confusion and turmoil (like when half the orchestra is playing the wrong piece)
wild chthonian uproar - infernal commotion (the aesthetic standard for most "serious" modern music)
terpsichorean bedlam - steps that make the dancers look like they have ants in their pants
gallivanting in great gyres of callithumpian chaos - like a conductor moving around just a little too much on the podium before he falls off
near-simian agitation - almost like a barrel full of monkeys high on amphetamines
(back to verse 85)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

pie-eyed picaroons - drunken good-for-nothings
bozos bouncing about, bibulously bound in graceless confederation - a perfect description of terpsichorean bedlam, where people are falling into each other like drunken circus clowns (which is what one imagines happens each day when Congress adjourns and the members try to find their way out of the Chamber)
bedraggled dead-beats - people who sit around doing nothing, yet manage to look like they've been dragged backwards through a hedge
perennially polluted and thoroughly smashed from lots of lusty libation - continually drunk as a skunk
(back to verse 86
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

well-oiled and potted; plastered three sheets to the wind - also drunk as a skunk, but possibly not all the time
uproariously dipsomaniacal phantasmagoria - the parade of scary things, both imagined and real, that pass before your eyes when you are drunk as a skunk, or well-oiled and potted
flunkies falling down in a fescennine fantasyland - vulgar people whose imaginary world is saturated with lust and depravity, who can't make a living because everything they try to do is morally abhorrent
engulfing insanity of epicurean degeneration - the overwhelming mindlessness of indulging your expensive tastes (as in spending more than you earn)
(back to verse 87)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

ungrateful vagabonds - bums and hobos who never say thank you
ne'er-do-wells wasting their weal - lazy, spoiled rich kids throwing away all the advantages they were born into
jadedly subfusc, limpid limbo of leisure - where, having descended into a mind-darkening state of restless boredom, you decide your best bet is to lay around doing nothing until you are suddenly thrust into a life of joyful excitement
touring carnival of shiftless jackanapes - a roaming party of ill-mannered people who think they are too important to earn their own living
dawdling in a desultory drift of Cyrenaic misappropriation - fooling around, aimlessly wasting everything, in accordance with the convenient philosophy that momentary pleasure is the only thing that matters
(back to verse 88)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

monolithic school of expressionless ichthyoids - a convenient classification for people who have as much warmth and facial expression as fish
insensibly - without feeling
Erebus - a place of darkness in the underworld through which you pass on your way down to Hades
cussed complicity of reproachable convention - where people do things badly because that's "the way they are done"
catastrophic shtick of cataleptic conformation - doing things exactly as ordered but only by shutting down your heart and your brain, even though it never turns out well, other than helping to keep you from being fired from your job
(back to verse 89)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

straitly stopped and stuck, stalled, stymied and stifled,stinted, strapped and stranded, sorely stricken, stunned and startled, stirred up and starkly stung, soundly slammed, well slapped and painfully pinched, pricked and pierced - as if having been suddenly slapped in the face by a cut little puffer fish, or a large heavy halibut, or your mother-in-law's claw hammer
sudden scintillation - where, out of nowhere, you begin to feel like you sparkle (like when you eat a whole package of Alka-Selzer in one sitting)
(back to verse 90)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

successive sockdolagers of Solomonic sobriety - odd moments, ripsnorting lollapoloozas, that come upon you like waves, when you feel so smart that you know you couldn't be drunk
anon - soon; forsooth; holdeth thy horses; busteth not a gusset; lose not thy cooleth
balmily prompting undulation of warming waftures of reluctant intuition - comforting waves of awareness which you were trying to suppress, now washing over you, quietly urging you to start doing something (like get out of bed)
zephyrs of inscrutably sagacious mentation - entering your mind as if on gentle breezes, thoughts which are so far-sighted, wise and penetrating that you can't imagine how they ever got into a brain like yours
(back to verse 91)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

subsequently - next
small shudders - those times when, for no reason, you suddenly shake your head and say, "Whoa!"
spasmodic shocks - sudden violent mental disturbances
ataxic seizures - sudden attacks where you lose control of your muscles
staying chagrin - feelings of humiliation that stop you dead in your tracks
forcefully bestilling savvy - new understanding that makes you quit what you were doing
momentous muscular memos of sanative incitation - when your body forcefully urges you to save yourself by doing something different (like stop sight-seeing and pull the chord on your parachute)
(back to verse 92)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

swell in one excruciating singularization - where your heart and soul expand with the most painful feelings you've ever experienced
peremptory sorrow and slackening self-censure - where you blame yourself to the point of promising that you'll never do it again (at least until tomorrow)
beyond and below bemusement - where you sense that something is different, but you don't have enough information to even be confused
bent into a destitution of self-abasing abashment and abject prostration - when you realize you have nothing left except your own embarrassment, salf-hatred and utter helplessness
(back to verse 93)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

reinventively rise up, recant and reconnoiter, reorder, retrench, and regroup in recuperation - get over the past and start over by figuring out a new way to do things
resolutely resound, without even so much as a soupçon, or the slightest rudimentary remnant, of any real reservation - saying something loudly, without being shy about it (like Ethel Merman, or like Adolph Hitler when he yelled out, during a major Nazi rally, ". . . and I think I can say, without fear of contradiction . . .")
(back to verse 94)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

screeching, squeaking, squealing, squalling and squawking - how you can tell when your choir still needs more rehearsal
calamitous counterpoint - where individual melodic lines are heard at the same time, leaving us much the worse for wear
high-decibel dilatation - yelling at the top of your lungs to explain things
slam-bang stentorian anathema - a voice of howling enthusiasm, so loud you can't stand it
moiling exhibition of ungodly commotion in aleatoric ululation - where people go into fits of wailing and howling (not unlike the British House of Commons)
(back to verse 95)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

tornadic furor in redoubtable detonation of ear-shredding shrieks and screams in stridulous harmonization - the manner in which some families sing Happy Birthday, and certain siblings run around the house closing windows
swirling saturnalia of shrill, sharply strident shouts and unsavory salvos not fit for publication - yelling and screaming and nasty name-calling from the orchestra when the conductor keeps them overtime
(back to verse 96)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

ceaseless cascading of bloodcurdling caterwauls- the way many modern operatic arias sound, on purpose
searing torrent of clattering grunts, croaks and cries - the sound of a choir that desperately needs more rehearsal
abrasive brandishing - the menacing exhibition of something, as when the rare conductor who hasn't yet lost his mind, waves his baton at the performers of a modern opera, threatening to stab the next person who tries to sing
discordant concatenation of rabid rants and acidly acrimonious exclamation - the sounds occuring in much modern choral music
(back to verse 97)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

wrong-headedly rowdy, ribald, raucous and raunchy - just like a bunch of slaphappy cowboys in a saloon
battering, even butcherly - hurtful, even savage (but otherwise harmless)
unboundedly bad, brusque and bawdy - not suitable for polite company
studiously lewd, crudely miscued, and laconically rude - where you make every effort to be offensive and embarrass yourself
sadly consuetudinary excuse for polite communication - the pathetically customary ways in which we pretend to talk meaningfully to each other
(back to verse 98)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

bandying of empty-headed codswallop - engaging in small talk
apothegms of bewilderingly ambiguous badinage - utterly confusing proverbs disguised as witty sayingre
brazen blazonry in the peddling of brainless balderdash - the shameless display you make of yourself by spreading idiotic nonsense
belching banter - eruptions of verbal pleasantries, especially after a good meal
misbegotten encapsulation - a brief statement that "says it all," where "it all" shouldn't be said
(back to verse 99)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

deceptive tenure and shady acceptation - where we're fooled into thinking something is okay just because we've been holding on to it for dear life, and we're not dead yet
inexcusably unscrupulous customization - where there is no excuse for the wickedness of making certain things normal when they should not be
chic but scabrously offensive and fatefully foul affair - a piece of business that may look good at first, but turns out to be an obscene scandal
artifice of ruthlessly unprincipled adulteration - a deceitful strategy of corruption or pollution to make something weaker or less effective
(back to verse 100)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

notably utilitarian and (aha!) suspiciously Faustian - where something is useful for now, and by your taking it, the devil can have the future, including your soul, just as long as your present purposes are served
aesthetic of misread personal rights and resulting victimization - where according to your twisted mind, yout overblown sense of what the world owes you and your getting mad when it doesn't pay up is somehow a beautiful thing - after all, what better reason to misconstrue your personal rights than to support your thoughts of always being a victim, and therefore being owed more stuff
adrenergic angst - where feeling anxious makes you even more anxious, because you're already anxious about being anxious and, feeling you shouldn't be so anxious in the first place, you get anxious about that, and then you get even more anxious about being so anxious about being anxious (Phew!)
self-relinquishing eager submission - happily giving up your own needs in order to serve someone else's
Pavlovian pawnship - where you automatically respond to the manipulation of others
distractive dehumanization - where they make you feel like a sub-standard human being so you'll be too hurt to notice what they're really up to
(back to verse 101)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

phenomenon of infamous finesse in malefic flimflam - the famously skillful handling of what you think is dangerous information
irreformably fly flab - well-formed ideas that have as much intellectual substance as a Twinkie
flatly flagrant flatulence - stupid ideas that, without question, are going to make people angry; or what happens after you eat too many beans
deceitfully forgetive - something you lie about having made up all by yourself when you didn't
strongly astringent asperity of steely Spartan zeal - the rough time ahead when you set out to achieve something with perfect self-discipline and total disregard for pain
theoretical sanitization - where you only imagine removing all the bad stuff (because you would never actually do it)
(back to verse 102)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

ironically seems to belie all the brackish banality of its own particular forms of poverty-stricken petrification - despite what you would expect, it hides how awful something really is and has been for so long that now it's too late to change it
calmly copacetic - describes you sitting there reading the newspaper while everyone else is running around screaming
scurrilously scrofulous and sordid sterility - describes a contaminated state of mind, ugly and vulgar in its lack of resemblance to anything supporting life (like what made the Chemistry teacher give your final project an "F" just because it blew up and set his hair on fire)
seamy evocation - suggesting ideas that are just plain disgusting
(back to verse 103)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

poison so sheeny and putatively appealing - something that seems very desirable, even though it could kill you (like an exclusive diet of triple-cheese pizza, french fries, potato chips, followed by a half-gallon of full-fat ice cream, a 6-pack of beer and a fist full of pain killers
puissantly paralyzing to what precious little remains of conscience in the venerable old bastions of conservation - tears down the final shreds of moral principle in places that were supposed to protect it
puristic delineation - recognition of what used to be right, is now right, and always will be right (as opposed to the modern definition: anything is right if it feels good)
(back to verse 104)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

nocent to the plexus - damages the place in your brain where all the elements of an idea come weaving together
bedimming to the very nexus - tending to blur the focus ("Your comments are bedimming to the nexus and nocent to the plexus")
quondam concentered and once-shared righteous notions - ideas we used to agree on about what is right and wrong, until you started embracing the dark side (or maybe I'm the one who did that)
watchfulness weakly wanes - you gradually lose interest
nearly comatose - our emotional reactions when they start resembling those of an egg plant
indiscriminate toleration - where your mind is so open that your brains fall out



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Verses 105 - 144
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