Immoderate Musings;
Quibblesome Quarrels;
Risible Rhapsodies on
Music and Morals

by
by David Van Alstyne



PAGE 4
Verses 145 - 196


Verses:
150 / 160 / 170 / 180 190

GLOSSARY
PAGE 1 / PAGE 2 / PAGE 3 / PAGE 5 / PAGE 6



(It
145) must take no less than the unlikely likes of such an
endless, pestiferously impassioned induration; a
portentous prominence; an exotically pagan plague; a
palpably protrusive insurgence and infestation;
a
146) gaunt gestalt; an ungovernable impersonalization of
basely banausic and ratty ratiocination
for the
commensurately bovine grasp and cloddish captivation of this
unconditional consignation to such uglification
as well as a
147) tragically thaumaturgic existential convergence; an
unforseeably solipsistic coincidence and conspiration of
stringently strained and sheerly sciolistic sophistry
and
scoffably stilted and stuffy pseudo-sophistication
to
148) mount and maintain such a minatory mist in the
miasmatically blurring and befogging mystification of the
fuzzy feasibility of mutely muzzy mimicry in
all manner of misdeed and malleable malversation.)



As I
149) simmer and stew in the slough of accomodation, a
slow-brewing broth of indigestible denegation,
queerly quivering and quite easily queasy from
perpending my own unavoidable participation
in this
150) unseasonable winterworld; this waking Walpurgis Night of
valetudinarian floccipaucinihilipilification; this
brutally betokening, unwelcomely weighty wallop; this
boom of gloom, doom, looming death and devastation;
this
151) detestably down-dumbing dunning of demoralization by
bombastic bluster and unblinking bloviation from the
jungle of juvenescent jackals, nerve-jangling and
jarringly jeering in their jumping jubilation
,
my
152) knees tend to buckle; I roll around writhing,
really rubbed and riled at all the revelry rising from this
quaking quagmire of unquotably querulous quibbling in
so much demonstrably inexpugnable energization
as to
153) surely douse and drench any decent sense of discernment with a
drowning, cataractous deluge of dubitation on the
faintest shimmer, the dimmest glint or dislimned glimmer of
any primordial blueprint or predetermination

for a
154) sharp, smart and happily snappy presentation of
salvifically salutary intellectualization, or
any foresightful provision for the abbreviation, if
not for the actual pellucid penetration
,
of all the
155) diurnally damaging, beholdably, abundantly batty
bumblings
of the Unbelievably Bubbleheaded Booboisie; that
bourgeois plurality of overbearing bimbos and their
knee-jerk reaction: the reflexive limitation
of
156) any sort of challenge or even hypothetical danger from the
tutorial workings of introspective excavation in the
transitory maw of soul-searching self-assessment or
any other sort of spirit-everting self-examination.



Indeed, the
157) penumbra of highly glorified glitter, glitz and glamour within
even the most instinctively cautious and conservative,
respectfully recessive, tentative and timorously
realistic
, (in a word: unromantic) visualization
of
158) wanting to resort to horizontal aerobatics; a
vaudevillian side-show of ballistic punctuation; a
straightforward, swashbuckling, slubbering swan song of
hyposensitizing high-velocity self-defenestration
now
159) finally fades to moot in the deflation of cancellation by
high-timely virtue of lugubrious moderation; in a
fortuitous five-star funk of autosuggestive fatigue and a
thankworthy benefaction of neurasthenic dissipation;
in a
160) recessional inanition of anorectic dispassion; an
attitudinally cool climate of costive immobilization; a
benedictory boon of wholesomely demolishing disinterest; a
risky superfetation of anaphylactic enervation,
and
161) now a bit wiser, well wizened and wearily wistful, I
woozily whirl and wobble, wary of wiggling and widely whiffling in
wrenching doubt, disconnection, the blahs of distrait decrepitude and
limp-wristed, washed-out volitional debilitation

from the
162) gruesome gaffes, gags and gadarene grotesqueries; the
unaccountable commissions of astronomical nincompoopery; the
madness so nocuously rife, ripe and rippingly roiling in the
foremost, most vortically atrabilious confabulation
that could
163) ever possibly inform with such fissiparous fatuity the
open visibility of our conditioned operant idiocy; our
freely foiling foibles; our fine fetes of fiendish fleering and
frigid fribbling in plebeian pachydermatous polarization.



(What
164) well-tailored warpage for precursors of dotage; a
stricture of superfluously comprehensive incubation for
anachronistic senility by means of modification through
premature geriatric transmogrification
!)



As I
165) struggle half-strangled, staggering, stumbling and trembling, feeling
trammelled and trampled flat, almost to annihilation
, and
trapped under a tremendously taxing tortuosity, a
terrifying toll of truly triturating trepidation,
I
166) try very hard not to come completely unglued, or to
fickly flee, flag, flinch, wince, fiddle or fidget, fully
fed up with the furious fight, the fatally feral fracas, the
wounding war for musical taste; the frightfully ferocious conflagration
that could
167) all too easily combust and once-and-for-all, finally explode at the
causative but purely unintentional instigation of the
very most onerously obnoxious otiosity of
weaseling wind-baggery and forensic ostentation
ever to
168) pique, poke, prod and plainly pervert the public palaver with
infusions of argy-bargy that wring the recitation of
wanton waggery, wheeling, dealing and polemical woop-de-do
in
salty scenes of tensely contentious disputation.



But
169) Avast! Hark! and Hope Ahoy! Here comes a bit of favorably
haphazard happenstance
happily hopping up, bringing
harbingers of help in the emergent incorporation of
haply serendipitous psychological fortification

in this
170) pulsant potpourri of promotional pabulum
painstakingly positing peace and palliation; this
belittleably entertaining antidote (diligently assembled with
hardly a single shred or twist of disinformation
);
this
171) cute, catchy contraption of cathartic contrariety; this
prettified pitch for therapeutic rehabilitation; this
wee bagatelle; this wacky literary stunt of
arcane verbosity and syllabic inflation;
this
172) soupy syllabus of superficial sentimentalities; this
fancified fardel of infectious fascination; this
lumpy mulligan stew of stern scholiastic scolding
well seasoned with sublunarily outsized exercitation;
this
173) easy-rolling rendition of grandiloquent rodomontade all
carefully packaged in risible rhapsodies of rhythm and rhyme; this
undying daedal discourse with a supposedly purgative purport of
passably plain and perspicuous exfoliation

of the
174) congesting clogs and congeries of colloquial convolutions that
perdurably closet, conceal, cover, cloak and camouflage the
whole darned cockamamy cozenage of condescension,
clever cockalorum and incorrigible obfuscation
;
this
175) self-aggrandizing mode of using bald arduous arrogance, though
allowably littered with lots of light-hearted levity; this
architectonic foisting of newfangled farragoes; this
caliginous quodlibet yet void of fabrication
(well nearly); a
176) maladroitly partitioned and protracted pullulation, a
real nonpareil, of playfully preceptive sloganization all
pertly pumped up plump; this serried posy of puffery; this
marginal, deciduously neologistic dissertation
which
177) still tips and teeters too tiringly toward turning into a
terribly tautologous teratological tome
; an
untenable travail of terrene trivialities; a
turbulently troublesome transvaluation;
a
178) truculent treatise of toplofty trifles; an
ursine tractate of treacly tripe and taradiddles
torridly teeming with all the rancidly squishy fruitage of
renitent rancor ridden with tumid fermentation
,
also
179) plushly padded with a punishing plethora of
highly persnickety pedanticisms
comprising
pedestrian ponderosities of pigheaded preachment
and
priggishly puritanical proselytization;
of
180) claptrap seething with a sopping permeation of
paralogismic horsefeathers and plutonian punditry
; a
panoramic palette of lyrically libelous, though
no less lambently luculent, lucubration

all
181) over-conscientiously prepped, preened and primped; all
frugally tamped and tightly packed pat with
pithy patches of immature, even illogically profane, yet
implacably predicatory prognostication
;
all
182) predictably paced with well-placed periods of
progressively pure Pecksniffian pandering
, and
pervasively paved with Panglossian poppycock to
posture a patina of placid pacification
while
183) vilipending, reprehending, nit-picking and pindlingly
paltering with a billowing bag of disingenuous ploys
; with an
emollient pastiche, a tart but tasty patois
pregnant with inexpiably mendacious elaboration

in an
184) unproven, supposititiously panacean praxis of
shameless shuffling and a sort of shallow shilly-shallying in a
runaround of unrealizable reconciliation by
ad hoc scrimmages of syncretistic mediation;
a
185) sumptuous platter of peccantly prickly pitter-patter and
priapic prancing in slaphappy pleonasm,
oozing with tropes of sly syllogistic sleight made
comfortable by a penchant for prestidigitation
through
186) skunking skulduggeries of subterranean subterfuge; through
slippery subversion and sequels of sabotage by
solidly subcelestial dissembling via multi-shaded
lies of immensely specious oversimplification

and by
187) putting to good use a lenitively euphuistic rhetoric of
enfeeblement by awkwardly allusive etiolation
, in
fine, by the unflappable unfolding, forming and flying of
fibs fixed in feckless fawning and foolish assentation

for the
188) laboriously loquacious, sloppy and slobbishly slipshod,
largely lame and long-winded lubrication of
transparently snide slurs and smears well tucked into
clumsy obscurities of sententious insinuation
;
with a
189) tersely versicular verdure of veritable verbicide; a
palmary particularity of venturesome ventilation; an
untoward awakening of dogged virtuosity in the
ambits of loathsomely labyrinthian vermiculation

that
190) vie to varnish volcanic surges of vehemence in
cheap shots of punitive editorial commination with a
papilionaceous, adroitly dapper dance of dodgery by the
accoutrements of graft and deftly duplicitous orchestration

and to
191) veil, right up to the very verge of dripping schwarmerei, under a
veristic veneer of verisimilitudinous replication and a
crafty construct of recondite codification with
all kinds of caricature and spurious characterization,
all the
192) vainglorious imports of your vagarious verjuice focusing the
parameters of pent up vim, vigor and vivification that
enkindle the bonfire and stoke up the edacious flames
, those
inventions of voguishly vitriolic vituperation
which
193) vamp up such heart-hardening, fearsomely freakish phobias,
bringing bearish bugaboos and egregious ebullitions of
whizbang razzmatazz, goody-goody gobbledygook, and
gale-force rushes and gusts of bullying fustigation;
such
194) unreasoningly raging and widely concerted campaigns of
virilely vulpine, very vigilantly vile, and volubly vulturous,
pestilence of contageously venomous vexation; a
vertiginous vendetta of general character assassination
while
195) half-heartedly hiding behind a hiply handy hubble-bubble of
recreant hemming and hawing, hyaloid ho-humming and
honeying with a mellifluously effluent, perfective nisus of
enchantingly Pickwickian misrepresentation

such a
196) tetchily tenacious, intractably inflexible,
overtly viperous and veridically virulent variety of
villainous valiance
in a vale of inveterately visceral
vengeance
and viciously vindictive vilification.




GLOSSARY
(back to verse 145)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pestiferously impassioned induration - where your rigid belief in the importance of being stubborn has turned you into a pest
portentous prominence - something gravely serious and threatening (for example World War III, or how you will react if somebody eats your chocolate pudding by mistake)
exotically pagan plague - our weird societal embrace of destructively unbridled indulgences (as shown, for example, in our renaming the ten commandments to be the ten suggestions)
palpably protrusive insurgence and infestation - a troublesome uprising that's impossible not to notice (as was, for example, the American Civil War)
(back to verse 146)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
gaunt gestalt - a rather cheerless way of looking at the world
ungovernable impersonalization of basely banausic and ratty ratiocination - the reason why nothing is left that could lead you toward higher aesthetic and spiritual values, because in this dog-eat-dog world you have to keep your eye on how to destroy the people around you in order to make a nice comfortable living and be happy
commensurately bovine grasp and cloddish captivation - as much like a cow as you need to be in order to understand and stay interested
unconditional consignation to such uglification - total surrender to the idea that beauty is not worth striving for
(back to verse 147)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
tragically thaumaturgic existential convergence - an unfortunately miraculous coincidence
unforseeably solipsistic coincidence and conspiration of stringently strained and sheerly sciolistic sophistry - where no one imagines you would ever suggest such wild and crazy ideas just to make yourself seem educated
scoffably stilted and stuffy pseudo-sophistication - your pompous attempts to appear full of knowledge and highly cultured
(back to verse 148)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
minatory mist - a feeling of threat in the air
miasmatically blurring and befogging mystification - where you remove something from the realms of ordinary perceptual experience by asociating it with putrid pollution and death (like making sure your private diaries are safe from prying eyes by bathing them in blood and then having them sprayed by an angry skunk)
fuzzy feasibility of mutely muzzy mimicry - the brain-tickling possibility of people doing what you ask them to, even if they do it in silent confusion
malleable malversation - various forms of political corruption which can easily be adapted to keep them hidden from the police, or from the voters
(back to verse 149)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
simmer and stew in the slough of accomodation - feeling you need to be morally degraded just to get along with the people around you
indigestible denegation - a state of denial which keeps you feeling like you want to throw up
queerly quivering and quite easily queasy - have you thrown up yet?
perpending - thinking it over
(back to verse 150)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
unseasonable winterworld - an otherwise normal period of death and desolation which really is not supposed to be happening right now
waking Walpurgis Night - a nightmare you can't wake up from because you are not sleeping
valetudinarian floccipaucinihilipilification - where you have a bunch of hypochondriacs sitting around pretending to be sick while trying to destroy each other with horrible insults about how healthy they look
brutally betokening - ferociously indicating something (such as a large fist moving quickly toward your nose)
unwelcomely weighty wallop - a smashing blow to your head where a gentle love tap would have done very nicely
boom of gloom, doom, looming death and devastation - a small, unusual sound that causes the pilot to yell to the passengers, through his open microphone which he thought was turned off, "Aauugh! We’re all going to die!"
(back to verse 151)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
detestably down-dumbing dunning of demoralization - where you your discouragement is making you dumber
bombastic bluster and unblinking bloviation - the best way not to speak to your children, or the judge at the time of sentencing; the way some conductors speak to their orchestras (before they get cooked and eaten; see "How to Cook a Conductor" in the music section of this website)
juvenescent jackals - young employees eager to do the bidding of cowardly and manipulative bosses
nerve-jangling and jarringly jeering in their jumping jubilation - people celebrating and having a good time in ways that makes you nervous (like neighborhood parties which attract police sirens and fire engines, or where they launch ballistic rockets from the back yard, or you hear words like "No, please! No, no! Don't . . ." followed by a loud scream and a thud)
(back to verse 152)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
writhing - twisting in pain (what you do after ingesting poison or while preparing your federal income taxes)
rubbed and riled at all the revelry rising - made very angry at the sight of other people having so much fun
quaking quagmire of unquotably querulous quibbling - where there's an earthquake and you're standing in what has become quicksand while arguing with someone over something you can't remember, using language you refuse to repeat to the police
demonstrably inexpugnable energization - where it's plain to see that you can't stop some people from working themselves into a lather
(back to verse 153)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
douse and drench any decent sense of discernment - where can fool all the people all the time, regardless of what Lincoln said about it
cataractous deluge of dubitation - a raging flood of doubt (your reaction when your son, who is too young to drive, says he didn't take the family car out for a joy ride in the middle of the night, when it was raining, and has no idea why the car is dripping wet and the gas tank is now nearly empty)
faintest shimmer, the dimmest glint or dislimned glimmer of any primordial blueprint or predetermination - the tiniest hint, the merest suggestion that there might once have been, far in the distant past, even the smallest rogue thought of how to plan the setting up of a procedure for hiring a committee to look into possible ways to broach the subject of beginning the earliest stages of planning
(back to verse 154)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
salvifically salutary intellectualization - using your brains to save yourself
foresightful provision for the abbreviation, if not for the actual pellucid penetration - early plans to at least minimize, if not yet fully understand, the problem
(back to verse 155)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
diurnally damaging - does harm on a daily basis (like breathing the air, drinking the water, and eating our favorite foods)
beholdably, abundantly batty bumblings - crazy foul-ups that you can at least have the enjoyment of watching as they happen (one of the pleasures, we are told first hand, of working in the White House)
Unbelievably Bubbleheaded Booboisie - the voters
bourgeois plurality of overbearing bimbos - low-minded mob of arrogantly thieving fools (for example members of congress who belog to the wrong party)
knee-jerk reaction: the reflexive limitation - where, without thought because the impulse doesn't make it to your brain, you do something which others might consider a bit rash, like throw yourself under the moving wheels of your daughter's car in the driveway hoping that, after running over you, she'll stop before she reaches the street, all this commotion because now she's driving alone for the first time and you're terrified, for crying out loud!!
(back to verse 156)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
hypothetical - don't worry, it's only imaginary
tutorial workings of introspective excavation - the beneficial process of looking deep into your soul; on the other hand, others would take this to mean cleaning out and contemplating your belly button
transitory maw of soul-searching self-assessment - the frightfully gaping jaws of self-knowledge (but don't worry, they never stay open very long)
spirit-everting self-examination - turning yourself inside out, searching for the truth about who you really are
(back to verse 157)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
penumbra - a less bright area surrounding something that's much brighter
highly glorified glitter, glitz and glamour - all style, no substance, like the Hollywood culture of self-worship
instinctively cautious and conservative - an attitude with which it's highly unlikely that you would attend some solemn occasion like the funeral for a President of the United States, or the Pope, and in a moment of silence jump up from the front row, wave at the cameras and yell, "Hi folks, it's me!!", or wear scuba gear complete with flippers and mask to lead the choir in church, or throw a lit firecracker from the balcony into the tuba during a symphony concert. Would you??
respectfully recessive - tending to withdraw from the limelight, out of concern for getting yourself killed
tentative - hesitant, uncertain
timorously realistic - where, since life has cruelly denied you the bliss of ignorance, you can't escape knowing what's going on, and that scares you to death
unromantic visualization - an unimaginative, unemotional way of seeing things in your mind
(back to verse 158)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
horizontal aerobatics - feats of flying, low and parallel to the ground
vaudevillian side-show of ballistic punctuation - a truly explosive diversion from the matter at hand (such as filling your mouth with mashed potatoes and sneezing)
swashbuckling, slubbering swan song - where, in your final appearance on stage, you are so busy acting like a Hollywood movie pirate that you end up falling into the orchestra pit
hyposensitizing high-velocity self-defenestration - where you throw yourself out the window, with a running start from the other side of the office, gaining enough speed so you can hope to land in the bushes on the other side of the street, but of course you miss, and being pumped up with adrenaline, your body's being flattened by a passing steam roller doesn't hurt too much, so it's okay
(back to verse 159)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
moot - has no practical significence
deflation of cancellation - not quite as neutralized or eliminated as you had thought ("Sorry boss, but remember the guy I was supposed to whack? Well, it looks like I didn't whack him as good as you wanted. And now you might want to leave town.")
high-timely virtue of lugubrious moderation - the wonderful quality of not acting as crazy as usual because you're too depressed, and not a minute too soon
fortuitous five-star funk of autosuggestive fatigue - where, in an inexplicable twist of good fortune, it's much to your advantage that your arms and legs have decided they are too heavy to move
thankworthy benefaction of neurasthenic dissipation - the gift, for which you ought to be grateful, of an emotional disturbance that removes all your yearnings for activities such as throwing yourself out the window without opening it first, or adding bullet holes to your body when simple cosmetic piercings are enough for most people, or tattooing on your forehead, "If you can read this, thank a teacher!"
(back to verse 160)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
recessional inanition of anorectic dispassion - where it has been hard to get your nose off the floor ever since you lost your interest in everything, including life-sustaining amounts of food
attitudinally cool climate of costive immobilization - where, because your unusual lack of passion these days, you move so slowly that we would need time-lapse photography to see if you're moving at all
benedictory boon of wholesomely demolishing disinterest - where it's a blessing to us all that your indifference now finally prevents you from doing what you were planning to do
superfetation of anaphylactic enervation - where, in a vicious cycle, you keep getting weaker and weaker
(back to verse 161)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
well wizened and wearily wistful - where you feel dried up, shrunken and shriveled like a prune because your skin is sagging and full of wrinkles, and you are too tired to do anything about it except mourn the good old days when you were cute, chubby and juicy like a plumb, even if you were only a baby at the time
woozily whirl and wobble - where, feeling weak and dizzy, you accidentally perform a few pirouettes which make you feel even more weak and dizzy so now you stagger from side to side
wary of wiggling and widely whiffling in wrenching doubt, disconnection, the blahs of distrait decrepitude and limp-wristed, washed-out volitional debilitation - where your fears of becoming a major piece of human wreckage are already turning you into a minor piece of human wreckage
(back to verse 162)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
gruesome gaffes, gags and gadarene grotesqueries - what politicians say, even when they're ordering breakfast
unaccountable commissions of astronomical nincompoopery - what politicians do so often that we tend not to notice
madness so nocuously rife, ripe and rippingly roiling - when congress is in session
foremost, most vortically atrabilious confabulation - a most outstandingly mean-spirited discussion
(back to verse 163)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
inform - to inspire, or permeate something with a particular character or essence
fissiparous fatuity - foolishness that drives people apart
open visibility of our conditioned operant idiocy - where we make no effort to hide how stupidly we do things (because we're too stupid to know that we're stupid)
freely foiling foibles - the personal flaws which we allow to keep us from achieving what we want
fine fetes of fiendish fleering - the good times people have when they're making fun of others
frigid fribbling - wasting our time and means and not even caring about it
plebeian pachydermatous polarization - where people can be easily minipulated into opposing positions and arguments, because having sensitivities as delicate as those of a rhinoceros, they also have no real sense of their own personal thought processes
(back to verse 164)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
well tailored warpage for precursors of dotage - ways of looking at the world, perfectly twisted to help you grow old and feeble-minded before you start to look like it
stricture of superfluously comprehensive incubation - limitation that is more effective than necessary for actually allowing growth and development
anachronistic senility by means of modification through premature geriatric transmogrification - where your brain, though it's still young, becomes old and rigid, because it's part of your equally young body which is also aging before it's time
(back to verse 165)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
struggle, stutter, stagger, stumble and tremble feeling trammelled and trampled flat, almost to annihilation - as the man says, "I can't talk, walk, or even stand up straight, I trip over flat surfaces and I can't stop hiccupping, I itch everywhere, my gums are bleeding and I shake uncontrollably, I feel like I'm being tied up and crushed to death - but aside from those things, which only happen between early morning and late night, I'm feeling pretty good"
trapped under a tremendously taxing tortuosity - unable to escape from something overwhelmingly complex (like the U.S. Tax Code)
terrifying toll of truly triturating trepidation - frightening price of absolutely crushing anxiety
(back to verse 166)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
completely unglued - how you'd feel if you won the lottery, or if you lost your TV remote
fickly flee, flag, flinch, fiddle or fidget - what would happen if one used itching powder in place of talcum powder
fatally feral fracas - a great big brawl where people start killing each other like wild animals (common spontaneous expressions of Yuletide cheer among Christmas shoppers at Costcos and Walmarts everywhere, immediately after Thanksgiving)
frightfully ferocious conflagration - a rather serious level of contention, similar to Iwo Jima, which is why we try not to discuss religion or politics at Thanksgiving dinner
(back to verse 167)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
combust and, once-and-for-all, finally explode - that which radical Islamic-terrorist parents proudly send their children to do, when they're too busy to do it themselves, as an ultimate expression of the parents' religious fervor, hopefully accomplishing as much murder, bloodshed and human destruction as possible (not: Ah, how soon they grow up, but: Ah, how soon they blow up)
causative but purely unintentional instigation - that which causes you to say, "Oops!" when you accidentally make something happen but didn't mean to; as when Mrs. O'Leary's cow accidentally kicked over a lantern which started the fire that burned down most of Chicago in 1871, or like when the great Japanese Admiral Yamamoto said after planning and leading the attack on Pearl Harbor: "I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve." In other words: Oops!
onerously obnoxious otiosity - a useless pain in the neck, or perhaps in the glutei maximi
weaseling wind-baggery and forensic ostentation - all speeches made by political candidates from the wrong party, no matter what's in them
(back to verse 168)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pique, poke, prod and plainly pervert the public palaver - misdirect everyone away from things that matter so they can be free to argue until they are blue in the face over things that don't matter
infusions of argy-bargy - slipping vigorous arguments into your conversation just to prove your point, especially if you are trying to intimidate by means of acting like a pirate (Arrrrgh!)
wring the recitation of wanton waggery, wheeling, dealing and polemical woop-de-do - when parents are twisting their fingers around their daughter's neck insisting on being told about the progress of her homework, this is what's really happening
salty scenes of tensely contentious disputation - discussions where passion is about to devolve into fist-fights
(back to verse 169)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Hark! and Hope Ahoy! - Hey! Looky there!
favorably haphazard happenstance - an occasion of good luck (like falling out of an airplane through clouds dense enough to ease your landing into a swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding)
harbingers of help in the emergent incorporation of haply serendipitous psychological fortification - signs that things are getting better as your mental state improves, through no fault of your own
(back to verse 170)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pulsant potpourri of promotional pabulum - a throbbing motley mudle of simplistic ideas about what we should do next
painstakingly positing peace and palliation - where a publisher might try very gently to convince the author and the editor of a new book about love to calm down and stop hitting each other
belittleably entertaining antidote - a comforting source of relief which some pickle-sucker is bound to say is no good because it's too much fun
diligently assembled with hardly a single shred or twist of disinformation - written with great efforts to avoid any exaggerations or falsehoods (except for the ones that work nicely for you)
(back to verse 171)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
cute, catchy contraption of cathartic contrariety - a useful little trick of calling other people stupid in order to make yourself feel better (it's okay because when you behave like a monster and inflict damage on others, you don't really mean it)
pitch for therapeutic rehabilitation - a great idea for how to feel better: simply return to your former glory (Now, if I could just remember where I put my wig, my hearing aids, my false teeth, my glass eyeball, and my prosthetic nose)
wee bagatelle - an item of no real size or substance (like your bank account)
arcane verbosity - lots of words that nobody understands (like this poem, for example!)
syllabic inflation - where your syllables seem to be having babies
(back to verse 172)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
soupy syllabus of superficial sentimentalities - a summary of shallow and sentimentally foggy ideas based on adolescent emotions (that is, if somebody else wrote it), or on the other hand, (if your wrote it) a touching memoire of noble ideas coming from the emotional experience and wisdom of full maturity
fancified fardel of infectious fascination - a collection of skillfully crafted entertainment that really gets under your skin
lumpy mulligan stew of stern scholiastic scolding - where the widely various arguments that someone spews against you, when taken all together, no matter how intelligent they seem, merely strengthen your opinion that the spewer is an opinionated fat-head
sublunarily outsized exercitation - where your carnal, materialistic mind is taking on more exercise than it's built to handle, so you might want to plug your ears in case of an interior explosion
(back to verse 173)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
easy-rolling rendition of grandiloquent rodomontade - where your reading of the list of reasons why you are so wonderful is so smooth and soothing to the ears that it's almost believable
risible rhapsodies of rhythm and rhyme - a poem that makes us laugh
daedal discourse - a very intricate explanation (like the one your 13-year-old offered for why he bought an Alaskan fishing lodge plus an amphibious airplane for getting there with your credit card over the internet)
supposedly purgative purport of passably plain and perspicuous exfoliation - an explanation which they tell us we will not only understand, but it will leave us feeling free from all the moral pollution we've brought upon ourselves by behaving the way we do
(back to verse 174)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
congesting clogs and congeries of colloquial convolutions - tightly crammed collections of word patterns that always confuse us
perdurably closet, conceal, cover, cloak and camouflage - going to great lengths to hide something so it will never be found
cockamamy cozenage - something ridiculous that tricks you into doing something even more ridiculous
condescension, clever cockalorum and incorrigible obfuscation - what people offer you when they talk down to you, bragging about themselves and leaving you feeling stupid and utterly confused
(back to verse 175)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
self-aggrandizing mode of using bald arduous arrogance - where people make themselves feel powerful by treating you like dirt
allowably littered with lots of light-hearted levity - where your jokes aren't quite so bad yet that people start calling the police
architectonic foisting - where, by careful design, you slip something past the public's attention (the first rule of conduct for those in elective office)
newfangled farragoes - where situations and ideas get all jumbled up in ways which, until now, no one has ever been goofy enough to imagine possible
caliginous quodlibet yet void of fabrication - an obscure, subtle argument which is at least completely sincere
(back to verse 176)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
malapertly protracted pullulation - where, having more nerve than wisdom, you keep people and things all jumbled up longer than than you should
nonpareil - peerless and without equal; not a pareil
playfully preceptive sloganization - where you make fun out of reducing broad general principles down to short, attention-getting phrases
pertly pumped up plump - thoughtlessly exaggerated
serried posy of puffery - a tightly packed assortment of overblown phrases in support of an idea (the stuff of political campaigns)
marginal, deciduously neologistic dissertation - a just barely acceptable piece of writing which occasionally becomes so meaningless that the author sounds psychotic
(back to verse 177)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
still tips and teeters too tiringly toward turning into a terribly tautologous teratological tome - yet hovers on the brink of becoming nothing more than a thick, heavy book full of academic nonsense and needless repetition
untenable travail of terrene trivialities - where it's virtually impossible to tolerate earth-bound things that are so boringly unimportant that in comparison, they make the phone book look like "Lust in the Swamps," or "A Day in the Life of a Hollywood Movie Producer"
turbulently troublesome transvaluation - an argument that upsets your apple cart by forcing a fresh look at ideas you've built your life upon
(back to verse 178)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
truculent treatise of toplofty trifles - a systematic argument, with an abrasively assertively tone that's supposed to make the author sound like a genius as he proves things which everyone already knows and nobody cares about
ursine tractate of treacly tripe and taradiddles - a systematic argument, sounding as if it's written by a grizzly bear (reflecting the grizzly's limited intellect and love of honey), full of pretentious nonsense that's disgustingly sweet
torridly teeming with all the rancidly squishy fruitage of renitent rancor ridden with tumid fermentation - rotting, but otherwise doing well, in the overflow of what happens when your inflexible opposition gets overwhelmed and tainted by riotous excitement (which is why it's best to keep your opposition as calm as possible)
(back to verse 179)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
plushly padded with a punishing plethora of highly persnickety pedanticisms - when your writings are filled with so many simplistic platitudes and pieces of superficial wisdom that your readers wonder if they should just run screaming and become volunteer cadavers at their favorite medical schools
comprising pedestrian ponderosities of pigheaded preachment - made of important sounding but unimaginative statements that tell everyone what to do, while making no allowance for individual circumstances (and to any pigs who might be reading this, it's only an expression and means no offense: we are very pro-pig)
priggishly puritanical proselytization - where you try to improve peoples' lives and invite them to bask in God's love by making them feel so guilty of everything that they become afraid to do anything
(back to verse 180)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
claptrap seething with a sopping permeation of paralogismic horsefeathers and plutonian punditry - the important-sounding but deceptive arguments and delusions expressed by opinionated gasbags (that is, what we hear every day from all sides of the free press, upon whose unbiased objectivity the survival of our democracy depends)
panoramic palette of lyrically libelous, though no less lambently luculent, lucubration - a wide array of pleasantly delivered lies and insults (once again, what we hear every day from all sides of the free press, upon whose unbiased objectivity the survival of our democracy depends )
(back to verse 181)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
over-conscientiously prepped, preened and primped - the happy condition in which we find most adolescents of both genders after they have spent hours behind locked bathroom doors while other family members are yelling and pounding, writhing on the floor in agony, and calling the fire department for help
frugally tamped and tightly packed pat with pithy patches of immature, even illogically profane, yet implacably predicatory prognostication - sections of your writing which, despite their unintelligible density of foul language, get right to the point in predicting what will happen to us if we don't start cleaning up our language
(back to verse 182)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
predictably paced with well-placed periods of progressively pure Pecksniffian pandering - where, just as we expected, you look worse and worse trying to make yourself look better and better by saying more and more of what you think we want to hear
pervasively paved with Panglossian poppycock - filled with overly optimistic bullpucky
posture a patina of placid pacification - where you look like you're trying to make peace, like Adolph Hitler did in the 1930's, with nice smiles, warm handshakes, kind words, and lots of tanks, airplanes and bombs
(back to verse 183)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
vilipending - expressing your opinion that something is worthless
reprehending - denouncing or voicing you disapproval
nit-picking - unjustified criticism of unimportant aspects of something (like complaining about Adolf Hitler‘s mustache just because of how disgusting it got when he blew his nose, or because it made you wonder how many kinds of soup were stuck in it, or if he had ever set it on fire when smoking
pindlingly paltering with a billowing bag of disingenuous ploys - using all the low-minded tricks expected of a puny little weak-kneed hypocrite, just to trip up your opponent
emollient pastiche - where you've lessened the intensity of something by adding a variety of more pleasant elements (like adding turkey and dressing, potatoes and gravy, peas and carrots, candied yams and chocolate pudding to your normal diet of bread and water)
tart but tasty patois pregnant with inexpiably mendacious elaboration - an entertaining way of story-telling which involves weaving a tangled web of exaggerations that nobody will ever be able to unravel (the great fun of which explains why some people go into politics and "news" reporting)
(back to verse 184)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
unproven, supposititiously panacean praxis - an untried remedy for solving all your problems (like undergoing a head transplant)
shameless shuffling and a sort of shallow shilly-shallying - a style of leadership that is shifty and evasive as it wallows in indecisiveness
runaround - what they give you when you call Customer Service ("Hello, this is the Runaround Department. How may I fail to help you?")
unrealizable reconciliation - where two people will never agree as long as each holds on for dear life to his own opposing version of the facts
ad hoc scrimmages of syncretistic mediation - the battles that arise when you try to make incompatible forces work together when they absolutely refuse to do it no matter what (like the political parties in congress, no matter the cost to national survival)
(back to verse 185)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
sumptuous platter of peccantly prickly pitter-patter - where you utter, in sweet tones of light conversation, a wide variety of thoughtlessly stupid remarks
priapic prancing in slaphappy pleonasm - where you attempt, like your boss in the office, or like politicians and other criminals, to be a "real man" by saying over and over again, in a highly befuddled manner, "I'm a real man!" (of course "real women" use means that are more subtle and more lethal)
oozing with tropes of sly syllogistic sleight - bleeding out a creepy slime of crafty arguments hidden in figures of speech that sound like nothing more than double-talk (how lawyers perform when they get warmed up)
penchant for prestidigitation - a strong inclination to deceive people by slight of hand
(back to verse 186)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
skunking skulduggeries of subterranean subterfuge - secret acts of bribery, larceny, fraud, forgery, hanky-panky and other social faux pas
slippery subversion - corrupting something by forms of degrading debauchery and moral depravity that are hard to catch
sequels of sabotage - all the underhanded works of destruction you continue to do after you do the first one
solidly subcelestial dissembling via multi-shaded lies of immensely specious oversimplification - telling lies by revealing only those bits of truth that make you look good, and leaving out the rest
(back to verse 187)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
lenitively euphuistic rhetoric of enfeeblement by awkwardly allusive etiolation - how you keep people from trampling each other in a sudden stampede by telling them what's happening with words that only suggest what's happening, so they don't actually know what's happening, and thus they feel better than they would if they really did know what's happening, not to mention the inconvenience of getting trampled
unflappable unfolding, forming and flying of fibs fixed in feckless fawning and foolish assentation - where in trying to get along with liars, you can't help acting like one yourself
(back to verse 188)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
laboriously loquacious - where you work too hard at talking too much
sloppy and slobbishly slipshod - where you're work is a mess
largely lame and long-winded lubrication of transparently snide slurs and smears well tucked into clumsy obscurities of sententious insinuation - where your long blasts of mean-spirited lies and insults are carefully concealed behind big words that nobody can understand (and that probably includes you)
(back to verse 189)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
tersely versicular verdure of veritable verbicide - where the economical efficiency of poetic verse becomes, in your hands, an efficient means of destroying the language
palmary particularity of venturesome ventilation - a good example of having the nerve to take your life into your own hands by saying what you actually think
untoward awakening of dogged virtuosity in the ambits of loathsomely labyrinthian vermiculation - amazing skills which, while better left unused, are unfortunately stirred up through detestable complexities of trickery and deceit
(back to verse 190)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
vie to varnish volcanic surges of vehemence - see who can put the most righteous spin on your occasional explosions of fury (as when employees compete for the boss's favor by making him look least like a raving lunatic)
punitive editorial commination - punishing someone by saying nasty things about them
papilionaceous, adroitly dapper dance of dodgery by the accoutrements of graft and deftly duplicitous orchestration - where, very quick and spritely like a butterfly, you make a living and cause things to happen by actually being a coniving two-faced hypocrit, and a thief
(back to verse 191)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
veil, right up to the very verge of dripping schwarmerei - to hide or disguise the real nature of something almost to the point of diverting attention through loud wailing and sobbing
veristic veneer of verisimilitudinous replication - where something highly extraordinary is made, on the surface, to look highly ordinary, so people won't be afraid of it
crafty construct of recondite codification - the new system of names you've invented for things, which is so complicated and confusing that nobody can actually use it
all kinds of caricature and spurious characterization - where you get so creative in referring to things that even you forget what it was you were referring to
(back to verse 192)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
vainglorious imports of your vagarious verjuice - the self-glorification in which you try frame your erratic exhibitions of fire-breathing pomposity
focusing the parameters of pent up vim, vigor and vivification that enkindle the bonfire and stoke up the edacious flames - making perfectly clear, for those who are confused, exactly what it is that makes them hopping mad as if their shoes are on fire
inventions of voguishly vitriolic vituperation - special ways you've figured out for looking your best when you insult people
(back to verse 193)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
vamp up - to create
fearsomely freakish phobias - fears that are so weird that the mere fact of having them frightens you more than the fears themselves
bearish bugaboos - imaginary things that scare you even though you know they're not real, because often you forget that and only imagine they're imaginary
egregious ebullitions - horribly violent outbursts of passion occuring at the wrong time and place, such as singing a baby to sleep, or proposing marriage in a library
whizbang razzmatazz - dumb little demonstrations designed to deceive and impress at the same time (such as Adolph Hitler's carefully crafted mannerisms in public speaking)
goody-goody gobbledygook - utter nonsense designed to make the speaker look like he has a halo under his wig
gale-force rushes and gusts of bullying fustigation - the kind of lies and insults you expect from a pompous wind bag
(back to verse 194)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
widely concerted campaigns - the united efforts of people from near and far, sharing a common focus on a project
virilely vulpine - powerfully crafty (like a fox who eats his spinach)
vigilantly vile - always working very hard to be as repulsive as possible
vulturous - like a vulture or any similar type of human who thrives on the misfortunes of others
pestilence of contageously venomous vexation - a devastating epidemic of poisonous aggravation that's very easy to catch
vertiginous vendetta of general character assassination - a vicious mission to destroy someone's personal reputation
(back to verse 195)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
hiply handy hubble-bubble - a disturbance that you can at least put to good use
recreant hemming and hawing - where instead of taking a courageous stand on an issue, you slither around it like a coward
hyaloid ho-humming - people's (typically teenagers) transparent attempts to look bored and unimpressed
honeying with a mellifluously effluent, perfective nisus of enchantingly Pickwickian misrepresentation - making a terrible story sound better by using sweet, smoothly flowing words that people want to believe
(back to verse 196)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
tetchily tenacious - very irritable and sensitive about not wanting to let things go
intractably inflexible - neither bending nor changing for anyone
overtly viperous - acting like a snake, and being darned proud of it (As, of course, who would not be?)
veridically virulent variety of villainous valiance - a truly poisonous kind of twisted and depraved dedication to something (like any of your opinions which differ from mine)
vale of inveterately visceral vengeance - a world of long and deeply felt, but not well thought out, desires to get even (with that kid in the third grade, for example, who filled your book bag with pancake syrup)
viciously vindictive vilification - the bloodthirsty things you say about someone, driven by vengeful desires to destroy them (Not so good with a family member or a dear friend, but if it's in a business setting, it's alright. Hey, it's only business!)



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    Verses 197 - 240
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