In a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.
If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.
If the cabin should enter more persons,
each one should press a number of wishing floor.
Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
Please leave your values at the front desk.
Visitors are expected
to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
You are welcome to visit the cemetery
where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers
are buried daily except Thursday.
Not to perambulate the corridors
in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Order your summers suit.
Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
Ladies, leave your clothes here
and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Take one of our horse-driven city tours -
we guarantee no miscarriages.
Special today: no ice cream.
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
If this is your first visit to the USSR,
you are welcome to it.
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Please do not feed the animals.
If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Specialist in women and other diseases.
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Our nylons cost more than common,
but you'll find they are best in the long run.
Cooles and Heates:
If you want just condition of warm in your room,
please control yourself.
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage
then tootle him with vigor.
English well talking.
Here speeching American.
You are invited to take advantage
of the chambermaid.
Salad a firm's own make;
limpid red beet soup
with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger;
roasted duck let loose;
beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Dresses for street walking.
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site
that people of different sex,
for instance, men and women,
live together in one tent
unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
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