Actual Funny Signs in England In a laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. In a London department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance) Outside a second-hand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain. Quicksand warning: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council. Notice in a dry-cleaner's window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of. In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness. Spotted in a safari park: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor. Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work) [source unknown] Home / Humor and Whimsy