In a laundromat:
Automatic washing machines.
Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
Bargain Basement Upstairs
After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot
and stand upside down on the draining board.
This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door.
(This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc.
Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned.
By order of the District Council.
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days
will be disposed of.
Closed due to illness.
Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it,
there is a day care on the first floor.
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free,
but the bull charges.
We can repair anything.
(Please knock hard on the door -
the bell doesn't work)
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