Actual Newspaper Headlines
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Stud Tires Out
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in 1984
Deer Kill 17,000
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Man Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Deputy Sheriff
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire
Autos Killing 110 a Day - Let's Resolve to Do Better
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday
Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Eye Drops Off Shelf
Farmer Bill Dies In House
Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Include your Children When Baking Cookies
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests
Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Milk Drinkers Are Turning to Powder
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni
Panda Mating Fails - Veterinarian Takes Over
Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Smokers are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency
Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction
Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Two Convicts Evade Noose; Jury Hung
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
War Dims Hope For Peace
William Kelly Was Fed Secretary
Never withhold herpes from loved one
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
Man is fatally slain
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Infertility Unlikely to be Passed On
Lack of Brains Hinders Research
How to Combat That Feeling of Helplessness With Illegal Drugs
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
Falling Limb Injures Man at Golf Championship
Suspect: Bombs Not Meant to Harm
NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach
Boy Who Drowned Couldn't Swim
Cemetery Faces Grave Problems Over Space
Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold as Pet Fish
Man Tries Armed Robbery with Knife in Gun Store
Plot to Kill Officer Had Vicious Side
Navy Changes Skirt Policy, Making Apparel Optional
Dead Officer on Force for 18 Years
Headless Body Found in Topless Bar
Lucky Man Sees Pals Die
Passengers Hit by canceled Trains
Lucky Victim Stabbed Three Times
Supreme Court Rules that Murderers shall not be Electrocuted Twice for the Same Crime
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
Police Found Safe Under Blanket
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Dr. Ruth to Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors
Organ Festival Ends in Smashing Climax
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
New Housing for Elderly Not Yet Dead
[source unknown]
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