Actual Things Put Into Resumés
These are taken from real resumes and cover letters
and were printed in the July 21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine:
I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0.
It's best for employers that I not work with people.
You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
I have become completely paranoid,
trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
My goal is to be a meteorologist.
But since I possess no training in meteorology,
I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
Fourteen gallons so far.
Please dont misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping.
I have never quit a job.
Marital status: often.
Reason for leaving last job:
They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning.
Could not work under those conditions.
The company made me a scapegoat,
just like my three previous employers.
I've left a path of destruction behind me.