The Captain Was Sober All Day
[author and source unknown]


On his ship’s leave, the first mate got so drunk that he didn’t show up for his duties. It was not until the second day out at sea that he managed to stand watch.

To his horror, however, he noted in the ship’s log the damning statement: “Unfortunately, First Mate Johnson was drunk all day.”

He sought out the captain. “Captain,” he said, “this is the first time in my years of service that I have ever been too drunk to serve. Please remove the notation.”

The captain scowled. “You know the log can’t be changed.”

The first mate said, “But with that on my record, I may have trouble ever getting a captain’s berth of my own.”

“I can’t help that,” the captain said without remorse. “The statement is perfectly true, and that is all that matters.

With that, the first mate returned to his duties and entered a notation of his own in the log: “Fortunately, Captain Simpson was sober all day.”

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