Favorite Epitaphs
[source unknown]



Here are epitaphs from real tombstones:


On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good Die Young.


In a London, England cemetery:

Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767


Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.


Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.


In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.


A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:

Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803.
His comely young widow, aged 23,
has many qualifications of a good wife,
and yearns to be comforted.


A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.


Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent
for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's.
He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.


John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.


On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:

She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.


In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June
Jonathan Fiddle
Went out of tune.


Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.


More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:

Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.


Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood.
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.


On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.


The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania
is almost a consumer tip:

Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"


Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:

Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.


In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.


Anonymous:

I told you I was sick.


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