Church Kids
Say the Darndest Things

[source unknown]

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"
One child answered, "Mary."

The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
A little kid said, "Verge."

Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary."

3-year-old, Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.

A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what the last one was.

Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys."

Three-year old Caitlin had been learning the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after her mother the lines from the prayer.

Finally, she decided to go solo. The mother listened with pride as Caitlin carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer:

"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
"but deliver us some E-mail."

One particular four-year-old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

A Sunday school teacher asked her children,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel
were sitting together in church.

Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers."

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
"Ryan, you be Jesus!"

A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

Once a Sunday School teacher started talking about
the story of Jonah and the whale and she asked what the story showed.

A boy raised his hand.
"I know," he said, "People make whales sick."

A Sunday School teacher asked:
What is the first and greatest commandment?

A child answered:
Hang all the law and the prophets.

A Sunday School teacher asked:
What is an unclean spirit?

A child answered:
A dirty devil.

A Sunday School teacher asked:
Who lived in the Garden of Eden?

A child answered:
The Adamses.

A Sunday School teacher instructed:
Write what you know about the Last Supper.

A child wrote:
I was away for that. I had measles.

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