"I'm being have!"
2-year-old, when his mother told him told to behave
Given as an answer for a written spelling test, when the teacher called the word "dynamite"
"I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!"
8 year old.
"I have a rock in my nose."
2 year old, greeting his mother after preschool
"There's no one in there."
6 year old, seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom."
3 year old, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens
"How will that help?"
Kindergarten student, when the class was instructed to hold up two fingers if any of them had to go to the bathroom
"Tell me when you're asleep, ok?"
7 year old, overheard talking to his 5 year old brother.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken. I'm looking for the seal."
A young boy, examining the contents of a box of Animal Crackers
"Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet."
3 year old, when his mother told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
"I wish someone we knew would die so we could leave them flowers."
6 year old girl, upon seeing flowers in a cemetery.
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email."
4 year old girl, misquoting the Lord's Prayer
"Why don't they just do what they did in 1899?"
On preparing for Y2K in 1999
"This is the biggest CD I've ever seen!"
On first seeing a record
"Never take your little sister to a shelter."
12 year old, after a big ice storm
When I called home one day, my six year old son answered the phone. "Hello," he said, panting a little. I said, "Hi, Nick. Wow, you sound out of breath." He replied, "No, I have more."
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
When we were trick or treating in my neighborhood, my three year old cousin came along. When we walked down the side of the street, and whenever he saw a stop sign, he made us all stop in front of it, look both ways, then continue on.
In my Sunday School class, we discussed what we would give up for Lent. One eight year old girl said she'd give up homework. I replied that the idea was to give up something she liked. She said, "But I like homework!" A seven year old boy, in the same class, said he'd give up fighting with his brother. I asked if he could give it up for so long. He said, "Well, it's only until next week, so that's ok."
I told my boys, aged 9 and 6, that I wanted to stop and get some hair coloring. My 6 year old asked what color I was getting and why. I told him that it was just to cover my gray and left it at that. They were like kids in a candy store, searching for the "perfect" color. We agreed on one, bought it, and left. That weekend, at church, a lady said she really liked the color of my hair. My 9 year old beamed and said, "Thanks, I picked it out!"
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side), put his hands up like claws, and roar. Step, step, ROAR, step step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. The crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing and was almost crying by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
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