"I am being have!" 2-year-old, when his mother told him told to behave  "I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" 8 year old. "There's no one in there." 6 year old, seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom." 3 year old, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens "How will that help?" Kindergarten student, when the class was instructed to hold up two fingers if any of them had to go to the bathroom "Tell me when you're asleep, ok?" 7 year old, overheard talking to his 5 year old brother. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken. I'm looking for the seal." A young boy, examining the contents of a box of Animal Crackers "Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet." 3 year old, when his mother told him his shoes were on the wrong feet "I wish someone we knew would die so we could leave them flowers." 6 year old girl, upon seeing flowers in a cemetery. "Why don't they just do what they did in 1899?" On preparing for Y2K computer problems in 1999 "This is the biggest CD I've ever seen!" On first seeing a record "Never take your little sister to a shelter." 12 year old, after a big ice storm When I called home one day, my six year old son answered the phone. "Hello," he said, panting a little. I said, "Hi, Nick. Wow, you sound out of breath." He replied, "No, I have more." A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side), put his hands up like claws, and roar. Step, step, ROAR, step step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. The crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing and was almost crying by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear." Home / Humor and Whimsy |