Changing a Lightbulb in Church
[author and source unknown]

Q: How many Southern Baptists
does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: About 16,000,000.
However, they are badly divided over whether changing the bulb is a fundamental need or not.


Q: How many televangelists
does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Honestly, we're not sure.
But for the message of bulb-changing to continue to go out, please keep those letters and checks coming.


Q: How many Episcopalians
does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Four.
One to change the bulb.
One to bless the elements.
One to pour the sherry.
And one to offer a toast to the old lightbulb.


Q: How many United Church of Christ members
does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Eleven.
One to change the lightbulb.
And ten more to organize a covered dish supper that will follow the Changing of the Bulb service.


Q: How many Lutherans
does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: There is some question here.
But we have it on good authority that they have appointed a committee to study the issue and report back to their next meeting.


Q: How many Faith Healers
does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Five.
One to change the bulb and four to bind the spirit of darkness in the room.


Q: How many Presbyterians
does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Are you kidding?
They don't change burned out lightbulbs. After all, it was predestined to burn out. How can you fight predestination?


Q: How many Amish
does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: What's a lightbulb?


Q: How many Unitarians
does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 300.
Twelve to sit on the Board which appoints the Nominating and Personnel Committee.
Five to sit on the Nominating and Personnel Committee which appoints the House Committee.
Eight to sit on the House Committee which appoints the Light Bulb Changing committee.
Four to sit on the Light Bulb Changing Committee which chooses who will screw in the Light Bulb.
Those four then give their own opinion of "screwing in methods" while the one actually does the installation.
After completion it takes 100 individuals to complain about the method of installation and another 177 to debate the ecological impact of using the light bulb at all.


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