Music Student Bloopers
These are comments and test answers accumulated by
music teachers in the state of Missouri, circa 1989.
Source: Missouri School Music Newsletter.
- I can't reach the brakes on this piano!
- Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to make a pleasant sound once the animal is removed.
- The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose.
- My favorite composer is Opus.
- My very best liked piece of music is the Bronze Lullaby.
- Morris dancing is a country survival from times when people were happy.
- Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.
- When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.
- In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Nedda who is the one he really loves.
Pretty soon Silvio also gets stabbed, and they all live happily ever after.
- Aaron Copland in one of your most famous contemporary composers.
It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.
- Beethoven was deaf so he wrote lots of loud music.
- Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.
- John Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present.
- Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
- Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing.
- A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
- Henry Purcell is a well known composer few people have ever heard of.
- An opera is a song of bigly size.
- I know what a sextet is but I had rather not say.
- Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and McCoys.
- While trombones have tubes, trumpets prefer to wear valves.
- The double bass is also called the bass viol, string bass, and bass fiddle. It has so many names because it is so huge.
- When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody.
- The concertmaster of an orchestra is always the person who sits in the first chair of the first violins. This means that when a person is elected concertmaster, he has to hurry up and learn how to play a violin real good.
- For some reason, they always put a treble clef in front of every line of flute music. You just watch.
- The main trouble with a French horn is it's too tangled up.
- A contra-bassoon is like a bassoon, only more so.
- I would like for you to teach me to play the cello. Would tomorrow or Friday be best?