Music Student Bloopers
These are comments and test answers accumulated by
music teachers in the state of Missouri, circa 1989.
Source: Missouri School Music Newsletter.

  • I can't reach the brakes on this piano!

  • Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to make a pleasant sound once the animal is removed.

  • The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose.

  • My favorite composer is Opus.

  • My very best liked piece of music is the Bronze Lullaby.

  • Morris dancing is a country survival from times when people were happy.

  • Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.

  • When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.

  • In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Nedda who is the one he really loves. Pretty soon Silvio also gets stabbed, and they all live happily ever after.

  • Aaron Copland in one of your most famous contemporary composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.

  • Beethoven was deaf so he wrote lots of loud music.

  • Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.

  • John Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present.

  • Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

  • Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing.

  • A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

  • Henry Purcell is a well known composer few people have ever heard of.

  • An opera is a song of bigly size.

  • I know what a sextet is but I had rather not say.

  • Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and McCoys.

  • While trombones have tubes, trumpets prefer to wear valves.

  • The double bass is also called the bass viol, string bass, and bass fiddle. It has so many names because it is so huge.

  • When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody.

  • The concertmaster of an orchestra is always the person who sits in the first chair of the first violins. This means that when a person is elected concertmaster, he has to hurry up and learn how to play a violin real good.

  • For some reason, they always put a treble clef in front of every line of flute music. You just watch.

  • The main trouble with a French horn is it's too tangled up.

  • A contra-bassoon is like a bassoon, only more so.

  • I would like for you to teach me to play the cello. Would tomorrow or Friday be best?


    Home / About Music / Humor