70.) If we aren't supposed to eat animals
why are they made with meat?
69.) Why is it that famous people are always born on holidays?
68.) Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
67.) Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
66.) Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
65.) Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
64.) Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils?
63.) Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows"?
62.) Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
61.) Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
60.) Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
59.) Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
58.) Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
57.) Why do we say something is out of whack? What is whack?
56.) Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated?
55.) Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed? Do they feel perhaps they'll need an alibi?
54.) If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how else are you supposed to open it and use it?
53.) Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
52.) Can you cry under water?
51.) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
50.) Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
49.) What disease did cured ham actually have?
48.) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
47.) Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like, every two hours?
46.) If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
45.) Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
44.) Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
43.) If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
42.) Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
41.) If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
40.) If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
39.) Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
38.) Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
37.) If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
36.) Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
35.) Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
34.) How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
33.) Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
32.) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
31.) If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
30.) If you try to fail, and you succeed at it, which have you done?
29.) If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
28.) Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
27.) Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
26.) Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
25.) Why do people sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when they're already there?
24.) Why do people say "tuna fish"? They don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird"?
23.) And whose cruel idea was it to put the "S" in the word "lisp"?
22.) When an agnostic dies, does he go to the Great Perhaps?
21.) Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
20.) Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
19.) How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
18.) How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
17.) Why do we call them apartments when they are attached to one another? Shouldn't they be called attachments?
16.) Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
15.) After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
14.) Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
13.) If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
12.) Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do orientals throw hamburgers?
11.) Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?
10.) If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?
9.) What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
8.) If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
7.) Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
6.) When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
5.) What happens to the holes when all the Swiss cheese has been eaten?
4.) If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
3.) Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
2.) How could I have been doing 70 miles an hour when I've only been driving for 10 minutes?
1.) If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, are you considered well-viewed?
Humor and Whimsy