Signs an Athlete is Using
a Banned Substance
Gets "psyched" before each competition by banging his head against a
locker, although he's on the chess team.
Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters.
Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at this
year's French Open.
Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 and the Preakness.
Swimmer's refusal to trim beard and wax chest costs her valuable
seconds in the 100-meter freestyle.
Remainder of high-jump event postponed until he lands.
Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting wet.
Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years.
Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes.
According to the urine test, he's six-weeks pregnant.
[author and source unknown]
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