a Banned Substance
[author and source unknown]
• Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters.
• Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at this year's French Open.
• Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 and the Preakness.
• Swimmer's refusal to trim beard and wax chest costs her valuable seconds in the 100-meter freestyle.
• His red and yellow jersey reads, "Track Cartel de Colombia."
• Absent-mindedly shows up at starting blocks with syringe dangling from arm.
• Remainder of high-jump event postponed until he lands.
• Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting wet.
• Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years.
• Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes.
• According to the urine test, he's six-weeks pregnant.
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