Actual Excuses for
School Absence

(collected by
Nisheeth Parekh, University of Texas)

The following are excuse notes from parents:
(including original spelling)

My son is under a doctor's care
and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent.
She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John
being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32, and also 33.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because
he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Megan could not come to school today because
she has been bothered by very close veins.

Please excuse Tommy
for being absent yesterday.
He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Please excuse Jimmy for being.
It was his father's fault.

Please excuse Jennifer
for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get the Sunday paper
off the porch,
and when we found it Monday,
we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school
a week from Friday.
We have to attend her funeral.

Maryann was absent December 11-16,
because she had a fever, sore throat,
headache, and upset stomach.
Her sister was also sick,
fever and sore throat,
her brother a low grade fever
and ached all over.
I wasn't the best either,
sore throat and fever.
There must be something going around.
Her father even got hot last night.

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