Here are epitaphs from real tombstones:
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle
The Good Die Young.
Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
For not rising.
A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803.
His comely young widow, aged 23,
has many qualifications of a good wife,
and yearns to be comforted.
On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania
is almost a consumer tip:
Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
"I told you I was sick."
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