Church Kids
Say the Darndest Things

A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy,
don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."

A Sunday school class was
studying the Ten Commandments.
The teacher asked if anyone
could tell her what the last one was.

Susie raised her hand,
stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the
covers off thy neighbor's wife."

After the christening
of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home
in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him
three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher said he wanted us
brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys."

One particular four-year-old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who
put trash in our baskets."

A Sunday school teacher asked her children,
"And why is it necessary
to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."

Six-year-old Angie
and her four-year-old brother Joel
were sitting together in church.

Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers."

A mother was preparing pancakes
for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over
who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity
for a moral lesson.

"If Jesus were sitting here,
He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake,
I can wait.'"

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
"Ryan, you be Jesus!"

A Sunday School teacher asked:
What is the first and greatest commandment?

A child answered:
Hang all the law and the prophets.

A Sunday School teacher asked:
Who lived in the Garden of Eden?

A child answered:
The Adamses.

[source unknown]

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