12. Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein.
(Joe Theisman, former quarterback)
11. If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
10. A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself.
9. Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning you can buy it back for seventy-five cents.
8. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
7. To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
6. My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana."
(Betty White, on "Golden Girls")
5. I think that the unbroken monotony of my brother Henry's goodness and truthfulness and obedience would have been a burden to my mother but for the relief and variety I furnished in the other direction.
4. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
3. Except for the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
(Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC)
2. There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
1. The trouble with being punctual is that there's nobody there to appreciate it.
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